Jalandhar: Sandeep Kumar was 27 years old when he left for Mosul in the hope of a better future for his family. On March 20, External Affairs Minister Sushma Swaraj read out his name as the first Indian to be confirmed dead; his was the first DNA match.
The inconsolable mother of Sandeep is finding it difficult to come to terms with the news.
"For four years, they kept us hoping. For four years, we have had sleepless nights. I still can't believe my Sandeep won't come back to me," said an ailing Sumitra Devi, mother of Sandeep Kumar.
For anyone else, Sandeep was one amongst 39 Indians who were abducted and killed by IS in Iraq. For the family, however, he personified their dreams and hopes.
"Sandeep would have been 31 if he were alive today; my son did everything he could for this family. I wanted to get him married once he was back," said Tarsem Lal, Sandeep's father.
Sandeep is survived by his old parents, two sisters and a brother. The broken roof of his house in Aliwal village in Nakodar Tehsil of Jalandhar, reveals the family's sorry state.
Not only Sumitra Devi lost her son, she also lost her brother in the tragedy in Mosul.
Sandeep had gone to Iraq with his uncle Nandlal - who was also amongst the 39 killed by IS.
In early 2013, the family took a loan of Rs 2 lakh to send Sandeep to Mosul. They thought of it as an investment that would bring brighter days in this poorly lit home.
The only time Sandeep could send money back home was in October 2013 when he sent Rs 50000. That money was used to get one of his sisters married.
Today, the family is crippled with debt. His younger brother, Kuldeep, left school to support the family.
Kuldeep and his father work as labourers in neighbouring factories. The combined income of this family is Rs 5000 a month.
The last time they received the promised monthly compensation from the government was in August 2017.
The struggle is real. Sandeep's father has met foreign affairs minister Sushma Swaraj around 14 times. Each visit to Delhi cost him Rs 500, eating into the family expenses. But he says that was bearable. What was unbearable were the false assurances and vague information they were given.
"Every time we would meet the government, they would tell us that they are looking for my son. They promised us they would get him back. They told me they found men who are mentally unstable and Sandeep could be one of them. They collected my DNA samples on 22 October 2017 with that excuse," said Tarsem Lal.
The last time Sumitra Devi spoke to Sandeep was on 13 June 2014. He told her on the phone about the war in Mosul. He said that the factory he works in has been shut and the owner fled with his passport.
"Sandeep told me he is hiding inside a basement for days. It kills me to think what horrors my son went through. He must have gone days, weeks, without eating in that hideout. The last time I spoke to him, he asked me to wait it out. I was waiting all these years," said Sandeep’s mother Sumitra.
Sumitra Devi lost her vision a year ago. She blames the endless tears and sleepless nights for it.
"I curse the day we agreed to send him to Iraq. I want my son back, want nothing more," said the mother.
Reena Rani, Sandeep's younger sister, now 17, is filled with rage. She was the first to watch the news about Sandeep's death.
"The least the government could have done was inform us before announcing it to the world. Don't we deserve to be told after all these years of living in false hope?" said Reena.
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