How to Write a Personal Ad

Writing the Ad

Solicit descriptions of yourself from third parties. Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves as others do. Your friends and family can be a great help to you when trying to describe yourself. Ask them what they think your best qualities are, and what they see as your unique talents. Naturally, they’re not going to be totally objective, but neither will you. They can be useful sources of information about how other people see you, and might describe you in a way that you wouldn’t have thought of yourself. Remember, a personal ad is used to advertise the best qualities of yourself, so don’t be afraid to brag a bit!

Offer objective information first. Objective info is that which describes your physical self and your life history. Physical description should be clinical and factual: include age, height, weight, eye color, hair color, and ethnicity/race. Do not employ superlative language or compare yourself to celebrities when describing your physical attributes. Your life history should contain info about your education, your professional accomplishments, and your religious affiliation. Together, these details constitute the basic foundation of your identity. Always be honest when describing yourself and your past, but do not unnecessarily bias potential readers against you. Serious mistakes in your past will come to light eventually, and its better to let readers know if you have, for instance, a criminal history. If you’re less than forthright, you might find yourself making an awkward confession later and be forced to explain why you didn’t mention it up front.

Describe your personality. When describing your personality, focus on the positive aspects of yourself. Take care to describe who you are, not who you want to be, so highlight your best features fairly and without exaggerating. Show, don’t tell, your personality with descriptive info. Instead of describing yourself as generous and a lover of animals, say “I donated $100 to Greenpeace this year” or “I volunteer regularly at the local animal shelter.” Avoid giving too much information. You want the reader to be interested in learning more about you. Being honest will save you from hurt and humiliation. You don’t need to mention your serious shortcomings (“I’m impatient and easily frustrated”), but including a few flaws can be humanizing and demonstrate you’re honest with yourself. Mentioning, for instance, you get cranky if you do not get enough sleep is a good way to pull back the proverbial curtain on your personal ad. Be specific and truthful about what's important to you. If you have a passion, then include it when composing personal advertisements. Whether it's camping, bowling, or traveling, you should always mention the things that you love to do. Common ground is a crucial ingredient of a good relationship, so attracting someone who shares at least some of your interests is a must.

Include a description of the type of person you are looking for. For example, you could state that you are looking for a friend to share your interest in fishing, or that you are looking for a long, stable relationship with a man who loves to ballroom dance. These descriptions reveal the type of relationship you are looking for, as well as the interests you hope to share together. Designate which things are deal breakers and which are not. If you’re too specific, and demand that only individuals who meet every one of your requirements answer your ad, you’ll have a more difficult time locating someone who meets some or most of them (a far more realistic expectation). It is also acceptable to designate the types of people you do not want replying to your ad. For instance, you might say you are not interested in dating unemployed individuals, or individuals without a college education. These qualifications will save you and potential suitors a lot of time when they browse and decide to reply to your ad.

Be brief. Write no more than 50-100 words. Your ad should pique the reader’s interest, leaving them wanting to learn more. If you write too much, people will often skim it, rather than read it carefully. An especially verbose ad might lead readers to conclude that you are self-absorbed and conceited due to the length and breadth of your self-description.

Editing the Ad

Be creative and specific in your ad. Don’t say “I enjoy film”; say instead “I love Wes Anderson and the Coen Brothers” or “My favorite films are _____.” Instead of saying “I love to travel,” talk about places you’ve been and places you’d like to go. Similarly, when describing what you’re looking for, don’t employ standard phrases and terms in your ad. Instead of a boring phrase like “Looking for someone great to spend time with,” or “Looking for my other half,” write “Looking for someone to be the Superman to my Lois Lane” or “Looking for a partner in crime to accompany me to the donut shop at 3 AM.” Think about your interests and your personality to discover how you can make your prose original, inspired, and specific to you. When writing your ad, imagine what kind of person you want to meet and think about what they might search for when browsing the personals. Key terms or interests like “punk rock,” “petite,” and “creative” should be present.

Watch your tone. Avoid being sarcastic, rude and crass, and refrain from swearing. You may talk this way in your daily life, but if you are hoping for a lot of responses, then you need to refrain from being offensive. Keeping your tone upbeat and positive will attract more people than will a negative tone. Additionally, ensure your attempts at humor are not interpreted as cynical, bitter, or self-deprecating.

Do some editing before publishing. Before publishing your ad, give it a thorough reading-over. Check for spelling and grammar errors which may indicate to readers that you are unintelligent or careless. Ensure punctuation and capitalization rules have been observed. Ask a trusted, literate friend to read over your ad before you post it, looking for grammatical and spelling errors, and confusing language. Alternately, you can locate a professional editor to look over your ad at an average cost of about $25. A good move is to write your ad on a word processing program first, then copy and paste the text into the online submission form later. The word processing program should have a spellchecker built into it, and many offer limited grammatical correction as well.

Include a photo or two. Take some flattering, but honest, images of yourself. Put on your favorite outfit and get a few angles. If you wear makeup, put some on and snap some pictures. You might include some props that help define you in the picture(s). A photo with your cat, or playing guitar in your band can make you stand out. If someone responds to your personal and you arrange a meeting, they’re going to see what you look like anyways; you might as well be honest about it and save both of you a lot of time by including a photo. Only use clear, crisp images of a reasonably high resolution. Do not post blurry or low quality images. Do not include more than three photos. Nobody likes vanity. Use one full-body shot and one close-up of your smiling face. Do not use photos of you with other people; the friends or family members in the photo with you might cause confusion as to who posted the personal. Only use recent photos. Do not use photos of yourself when you were 5 years younger and/or 50 pounds lighter than you currently are. Always use images that accurately represent you as you are. You can add photos of yourself in a variety of situations to reflect your personality. Unless the personal does not allow photos, readers may think you have something to hide if you do not include a photo. Smile in your photo. A recent poll found that personals with smiling pictures of the individual who wrote the ad were more popular than those with a sexy image.