Background Teaching
Teach your daughter from an early age that drama is not desirable. It is not the prerogative of all women to tear each other down and no matter what current TV shows or literature claims, it is much more enjoyable to have reliable friends than a constant social war. Remind her that friends are forever and boyfriends (or girlfriends) are whatever.
Teach her about morals. Morals are the foundation to not creating drama and understanding how to address drama. Instill whatever moral values you think are important. This can include not talking about someone behind their back, remaining truthful, standing up for a friend, or being the person who stands up for anyone. Your daughter can create drama by gossiping about friends or insulting other girls behind their backs, or she can support her fellow women by standing up for them. If you have a shy daughter, remind her that standing up for someone does not always mean verbally confronting another, but can also mean leaving a conversation or changing a subject when someone is being unpleasant.
Remind your daughter that she has resources. You, her parent(s), are there for her to talk about anything and to provide help. Her school administrators are there to prevent bullying and make school pleasant. Other adult figures, such as church group leaders, counselors, older siblings or other relatives, can also help her to deal with any situation.
Make sure your daughter understands that her worth does not come from her social standing. She is a human, not an object, and she has worth regardless of how the "popular" girls act toward her or how many boys ask her out. These are hard lessons to learn, but it is easier for girls to get over social drama in one aspect of their life if they have a fleshed out sense of personality and identity.
Address Specific Incidents
If it's apparent that your daughter is going through something at school or with friends, try to gather information. Respect your daughter as a person and understand if she doesn't want to talk about it immediately. Sometimes, she can be embarrassed at her situation or her own conduct. She might be confused or hurt or unsure of how to ask for help. Give her time.
If the issue seems to be serious, which might be evidenced in a dramatic change in your daughter's behavior (for example, she used to be the life of the party but now hides in her room frequently) consider discussing with a school administrator or child counselor. Attempt to figure out the situation. Bullying can frequently be dealt with by school administrators, but having a parent contact them to inform them of the situation is a necessary first step. Other drama might be less obvious but just as damaging, such as other girls commenting on your daughter's weight or eating habits. Have healthy conversations with your daughter about common issues that affect girls of her demographic, including eating disorders or mental illness. If you are uncomfortable discussing topics of this nature, buy books on the topic geared toward her age and make them available to her.
If the issue is painful but not incredibly serious, consider distractions. Have family nights or weekend trips. Remind your daughter that she is loved and supported at home, regardless of whatever is going on with her friends and school. Be there for her but don't push her. This is a hard balance to achieve, and it's okay to make mistakes. But make sure she knows she is loved.
Learn From Experiences
If you notice that one girl in particular is causing drama in your daughter's life, help your daughter make other friends or have a discussion with that girl's parent. If something like girl scouts or a sports team becomes more pain than fun, allow your daughter to pursue a different interest.
Talk to your daughter and help her process what has happened to her. This might include helping her understand what she could say to stand up for herself or others in the future or how to reach out to a trusted adult. Remind her that it's okay to cut people out of your life if they don't treat you well. She doesn't have to be friends with everyone.
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