How to Make People Believe You're British
How to Make People Believe You're British
Even Britons themselves would agree on an excellent reason to fake a British identity: to fool the Americans and the French. Jokes aside, a sincere attempt to learn about British culture will earn you more respect than juggling pots of tea and sonic screwdrivers. Read on if you'd like to spread British customs to your part of the globe, or to stow the "mug me, I'm a tourist" sign on your trip to Ireland.
Steps

Learning about British Culture

Know your terms. "The British" (also called Britons) live anywhere in the United Kingdom, a nation that includes England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland. If you use "English" and "British" interchangeably, drop that habit right away. "Great Britain" refers to the UK mainland — which is only England, Scotland, and Wales. If you want to include Northern Ireland when speaking of the country as a whole, then refer to it as the United Kingdom or the UK for short. The Republic of Ireland is an independent nation which became independent from the UK in 1922, later becoming a republic on 18 April 1949 and makes up five-sixths of the island; while the remaining sixth is made up of Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom.

Appreciate British food. People joke about British food, but many consider this reputation undeserved in modern times. In large cities especially, there are many great food options. Here are a few favorites that are particularly popular in Britain: Indian curry, especially chicken tikka masala Cornish pasties and meat pies English Tea (both the drink and the meal.) Regional specialties abound, from Irish soda bread to Devonshire cream If you are not in the UK, visit international food markets to look for imported goods. British cheese, biscuits, and brands of chocolate (eg. Cadburys) are found worldwide.

Watch British media and find some role models! Watch Sherlock Holmes, the Inbetweeners, Downton Abbey, Misfits, IT Crowd, Coronation Street and other films and shows. This is one of the most entertaining ways to get a sneak peek at British culture, including their sense of humour. British television (especially the BBC) is available in many countries, although usually only as a reduced and older selection. Monty Python is fantastic, but try to find shows from this decade as well.

Learn the basics of British politics. The United Kingdom has a parliamentary system, with the two largest political parties being the Conservative Party, and the Labour Party. There are more than two parties however, with less seats in the House of Commons, but still attract substantial support. The Scottish National Party (SNP) overtook the Liberal Democrats (Lib Dems) in terms of numbers of seats at the 2015 UK general election, despite the SNP being confined to only contesting Scottish seats as a regional issues party. If you've never heard of these groups before, try following Question Time, British political news, or British political comedians. If you've never heard of these parties before, just teach yourselves the basics of their positions. Faking an opinion is difficult and somewhat insulting.

Follow British sports. Football (called soccer in the US and Canada) is a national obsession — which you probably knew unless you're from one of the few countries where it isn't. Learn to play the game and follow a team from afar, if you enjoy sports. Rugby and cricket are popular as well.

Narrow your focus. Now you know a tiny taste of British culture. But where do you feel a special connection to? Slang and diets can change over remarkably short distances, and across social classes. Try researching Edinburgh, Liverpool, Cardiff, or Belfast.

Blending Into Britain

Plan your wardrobe. People in Britain tend to dress more casually than continental Europeans, but more formally than casual dress in the United States. Jeans, T-shirts, and jumpers (sweaters) are common, but they're usually in good shape and fit well. Bold color and pattern combinations are common in some areas, but black is a safe option until you've got the local fashion down. When in doubt, shop in Britain itself. Look for stores filled mostly by locals, including some roughly similar to your demographic. Formal wear tends to be modest and custom-tailored, but it's best to check with the host of the event. Younger adults and teenagers tend to follow faster-changing fashion trends, so you may see young locals that break these "rules."

Avoid tourist stereotypes. There are some items of clothing or accessories worn mostly by tourists. Stay away from these if you want any hope of looking British: Fanny packs/bum bags Cameras and maps Hiker's clothing in the city (including hiking boots) T-shirts sold to tourists, often with the Union Jack or the Keep Calm and Carry On slogan. Shorts and running shoes are not unheard of, but they will draw more attention than they would in other parts of the world.

Think in layers. It's often cold in England, so women have learned to wear scarves, boots, and definitely tights (which Americans may know as pantyhose). Even rain boots have their place! A dress or pinafore with tights, a blazer, and plimsolls would not be out of the question. Men have fewer fashion expectations, but should definitely pack warm and rainproof clothing.

Learn the polite greetings. When greeting someone, offer a brief, firm handshake with no further contact. Don't be surprised if someone gives you a brief hug or kiss on the cheek instead — but don't initiate it yourself unless they've done so before. Any of the following are a fine way to start the conversation: Good morning / good afternoon / good evening Hello, how are you? (informal) Morning / afternoon / evening (very informal) Alright? / Alright, mate?

Follow other rules of etiquette. Tourists tend to commit unintended faux pas in any country. Here are a few vital rules to follow in British etiquette: When invited somewhere, be punctual. If you'll be more than a couple of minutes late, phone or text and let whoever you're meeting know. Unless you're in a pub, queue (wait in line) in single file and wait patiently for your turn. (At a pub, walk up to the bar and wait patiently there!) Be sensitive to signs of discomfort in conversation. Depending on where you're from, you may need to learn to give other people more space, reduce prolonged eye contact, and minimize physical contact. Most British people will not voice their discomfort aloud. Tipping is only expected in certain situations, such as taxis and beauty salons. Restaurant tipping is optional and usually around 10%. At a pub, offer to buy the bartender a drink instead.

Understand British humour. Humour is one of the most difficult cultural elements to translate, even if you're from an English-speaking country. Plenty of Brits have a quick, dry wit with an edge of self-deprecation. Be prepared for sarcasm, insults, swearing, and puns that go over your head, all delivered with a straight face and the expectation that you'll roll your eyes and move on. Succeeding with your own contribution is very difficult for a foreigner, but one of the best ways to show that you belong in British culture, at least a little bit.

Expect to see surprises. No culture can be reduced to a few pages, and you shouldn't assume everyone in Britain behaves as described above. After all, Britain contains four countries, dozens of regions with strong local identities, and an ongoing history of immigration, all with a proud place in British society.

Sounding British

Be realistic. Your accent is probably your biggest obstacle in the way of your British disguise. Changing it, however, will be very tough. Convincing an American is one thing, but maintaining a longterm facade is nearly impossible. And you'd better have plenty of practice before trying it in Britain. You'll need lots of practice to become good. Check out some YouTube videos on accents to train yourself.

Choose an accent. There are many British accents, and very few of them sound like an English rom com. If you're acting in a play, find out where your character is from and what social class he belongs to. If you're learning the accent just for fun, find one that's similar to your native accent. Almost all US English speakers have an easier time learning southern English accents. Northern English (such as Geordie and Scouser), Scottish, Irish, and Welsh accents have less familiar sounds. If English is not your native language, try to find out whether the UK has an immigrant population of people from your country. London especially has many dialects that borrow heavily from other accents, from Jamaican to Polish.

Get the syntax and grammar. Every English-speaking country has differences in sentence structure and grammar, though usually only slight ones. Here are a few examples which could sound unfamiliar, depending on where you're from: In response to a question with an auxiliary and main verb, Brits respond with both: "Could you do the washing up for me?" "Could do" or "will do". "Have you got...?" instead of "Do you have...?" Brits use the past perfect ("I have eaten") frequently, where others might use the past simple ("I ate"). Brits sometimes drop the definite article — "at/in hospital," instead of "at the hospital."

Study the mouth shape. We all speak with certain mouth shapes and tongue movements unconsciously. Overwriting these takes concentrated practice in front of a mirror. The most well-known British accent, for example — spoken by politicians and BBC newscasters — relies on a dropped jaw and lips that open more vertically than horizontally. Find online videos for the accent you chose, or a conversation partner from that region.

Nail down the vocabulary. Though the language is English, it can sound very different from American, Australian, South African, or any other dialect of English. Online dictionaries of slang and other differences will give you a head start, as will talking to native Brits in online language-learning forums. Here are a few examples of American-British differences: You eat "sweets" and "biscuits", not candy and cookies. French fries are "chips", potato chips are "crisps", and the British love all four of these snacks. Pants are "trousers." The restroom is the "loo" or "toilet." Watch out for words such as "fanny" that have different and offensive meanings to US English. The word "Fanny" refers to female genitals, which can be perceived as rude or vulgar by some. The word is commonly used as an insult in Scotland, for example; "he's a fanny". However, the same rule applies. "Asian" usually correlates to South (west) Asia: Indian, Pakistani, etc. People from China, Japan, and the rest of Southeast Asia are often called "Oriental" and "Far Eastern."

Make it sound natural. You can have the vocabulary and the accent down pat, but it won't be totally convincing to a native Brit if you don't have the slang and the interjections. Language is so much more than how to string a sentence together! Keep in mind that using slang incorrectly is worse than not using it at all. Interjections are going to make or break your ability to pull off an English accent. Without the ability to ponder and react in a natural way, you're done for. E.g.: Hello! Ah, oh, hmm, well, huh, etc. Say "I fancy" instead of "I want," and "I am shattered" instead of "I am tired." These are just a few examples of a practically infinite list. Use the expression "Alright?" or "You alright?" which is often used instead of "Hello, how are you?" This isn't an actual question, really. You'd respond with the same, "Alright?" or "I'm good, thanks," regardless of how you actually feel.

Spell your words in the British style. There are quite a few British spellings that are not used in the US, and sometimes not even in the rest of the Commonwealth. For example, "colour", "criticise", "aluminium", and "learnt" are all correct British spellings. There are a few punctuation differences as well. "Mr" does not end in a period (called a full stop in the UK) and short quotes tend to end with the final punctuation outside the quotation marks (as in the list of spellings above).

Swear like an Englishman. We won't list the terminology here, but it's not hard to find examples online. Know that those few words you probably resort to may have completely different connotations in British English — more casual, more offensive, or not used at all. Learn the differences from a native Brit instead (and don't choose Hagrid).

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