Add ice to a Collins glass. There's a lot of liquid in this drink, so you'll need a Collins glass or a tall highball glass. This size also requires plenty of ice to keep the cocktail cool as you work your way through. Toss in a generous scoop. You can mix the drink in a cocktail shaker, if you don't mind missing out on the layered effect.
Pour in the tequila, vodka and coffee liqueur. Add ¾ oz. each of vodka and tequila, and ½ oz. coffee liqueur. If you want a layered effect, pour the coffee liqueur first. Hold a spoon upside-down in the glass, as close to the liqueur as you can. Pour the tequila and vodka over the back of the spoon. The smaller cup on a bartender's measuring device is usually ¾ oz. (a half jigger / half shot), but not always. If you don't have one of these, use 1½ tablespoons instead. ½ oz is equivalent to 1 tablespoon. You can also add the coffee liqueur by eye.
Add the cola. Pour in 2 oz. Coca-Cola, Pepsi, or another cola. Pour slowly to make a new layer on top without disturbing the clear layer.
Top the paralyzer with milk or light cream. Pour slowly while stirring the top of the drink. This reduces the chance of the milk curdling. Cream is less likely to curdle, but it is still possible if you pour too quickly. You may measure out 4 oz., or just pour until the Collins glass is full. The milk will sink past the cola, but if poured slowly you can still form a distinct layer.
Serve and enjoy. Provide a straw for stirring the drink.
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