Ask open ended questions.
This is a good rule of thumb for any conversation. Instead of asking questions when someone could say “yes” or “no,” try to stick to questions that require a longer answer. Keep doing this throughout your conversation to avoid any awkward pauses or halts in the convo. For instance, instead of asking “Did you grow up here?” ask, “Where did you grow up?” Instead of asking, “Do you have a job?” ask, “What field are you in?”
Share an opinion.
Let your conversation partner weigh in on something. You could talk about how badly the sports team is doing in your area, how confusing you think modern art is, or even how much you like the weather. Then, the person you’re talking to can either agree or disagree (in a friendly way). For instance: “It’s been so warm lately, the sun feels so good!” “The Yankees have really been blowing it this season, haven’t they?” “I can’t believe how many people are moving to the city.”
Give them a compliment.
Pick out something you like about them, then tell them! It’s always nice to hear good things about yourself. Since they’re a stranger, try not to get too detailed about anything physical—stick to simple, innocent compliments like: “Where’d you get that scarf? I love it!” “Your glasses are so cute.” “Your hair is so curly, it looks amazing!”
Ask for a recommendation.
Let your conversation partner know you value their opinion. If they’ve lived in the area longer than you have, see if they know any good restaurants you could try out. If you’re at a bar, ask them which drink they’re sipping on. Say something like: “What’s the best Italian restaurant around here?” “I’ve been looking for a good bike trail to ride on. Do you know any spots?” “What’s the best time of day to hit up the beach? It always seems so crowded!”
Bring up current events.
Stick to topics that everyone has heard about. Maybe there’s a state fair happening nearby, or maybe your local sports team just did super well. Bring it up with your conversation partner to get their input by saying something like: “Did you hear about the big game yesterday? Go hogs!” “Are you going to visit the state fair this weekend? I heard there’s some awesome rides.”
Talk about something in your surroundings.
Glance around you and pick out something you could talk about. If the person you’re talking to is holding a drink, ask them if they like that brand. If there’s a dog nearby, see if they have any animals. Take inspiration from your surroundings if you feel stuck. If they’re drinking a beer that you like, you could say, “Do you like that brewery? They make a great IPA that I love.” If you pass by a restaurant, ask, “Have you been in there before? I’ve heard the seafood is really good, but I’ve never tried it.”
Ask follow-up questions.
Get your conversation partner talking about themselves. If they tell you where they work, ask them if they like it. If they tell you where they live, see how long they’ve lived there. Try to keep the questions relevant, but don’t ask anything too detailed if you two just met. For example, if someone tells you about their wife, you could say, “What does she do?” or, “How long have you two been married?” If someone tells you about the college they went to, you could ask, “What degree did you graduate with?” or, “Did you live in the dorms on campus?”
Talk about things you’re interested in.
It’s always good to have a few topics up your sleeve. While you don’t want to dominate the conversation, the person you’re talking to probably wants to hear about you, too! Bring up your job, your hobbies, or your family for a few easy conversation starters. For instance, you might say, “I’ve lived in this area for 12 years now—my husband and I love it!” “Some people think my job is really boring, but I enjoy it.” “I’m pretty wiped out from this weekend—my roller derby team had our first game last night.”
Ask about how they know your mutual friends.
If you meet at a party, this is a good conversation starter. You could ask them how they know the host or who they were invited by. Then, explain how you know everyone here or what your connection is. For example: “So, how do you know Sarah?” “Oh, you know Greg? That’s awesome; we grew up together!”
Let the other person end the silence.
If you can’t think of anything to say, it’s not the end of the world. Let your conversation partner bring something up for the two of you to talk about. You never know: they might just bring up something really cool that you would never have thought of! If the person you’re talking to yawns, glances around, or looks bored, it might be time to end the conversation.
Avoid controversial topics.
Save those for when you two know each other a little better. Don’t bring up politics, religion, or anything that could get someone riled up within your conversation. Stick to light subjects that won’t spark a debate. This is especially important if you’re networking in a professional setting.
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