Asking Your Friend for Your Item Directly
Be forward about asking for it back. Be bold and come out with your request. Even if they’ve had it a long time, just assume they have intended to return it, and say, "I’d like to get my copy of X-Men back when we meet next." With that direct approach, embarrassment or common courtesy will likely cause them to return your item.
Ask a question about it. By inquiring about the item you’ll be less confrontational. It suggests uncertainty, and allows your friend to be confident in their reply, as if they were the one who decided to return the item. Try a few of the following approaches: "Are you done with my copy of Twilight? I’d like to have it back when you’re done." ”Hey, I’m looking for my hat, do you still have it?” ”Would you mind giving the video game back to me?”
Send a message regarding the item. A message allows you to be direct without having to confront your friend. It’s easily less personal. There is possible misinterpretation, so be careful with your wording. Facebook allows you a great way to send a message. Send a private message with just enough information to let your friend know you’d like the item back. Shoot your friend a quick email. Nothing extravagant is needed. Just ask for your item back. Text your friend. Ask for the item and include their favorite emoticon to make it less harsh.
Constantly bring it up. Whenever you talk to your friend, bring it up. No matter the conversation, steer everything back to the loaned item. Your friend will quickly get the hint.
Using Humor to Get it Back
Shame your friend playfully. Sometimes a bit of ribbing might be enough to prod a reaction. If some of the more subtle, painless approaches haven’t worked, you may need to ratchet up your approach. Post on their Facebook wall. Be playful, and you’ll likely get some other friends joining in. If you have art skills, make a digital missing-poster of your item.
Joke about calling your friend's mother. There is nothing worse than maternal pressure. Be sure to let your friend's mother know not to be too harsh.
Ask to borrow it back. Technically, you’re not borrowing it since it’s yours, but it could be funny to ask in such a way. Play it up by begging a bit, "Could I borrow it back? Pretty please? I need it! I’ve always wanted one like that.”
Be sarcastic. A slight bit of embarrassment can be minimized if sarcasm is used. Find a way to bring irony or humor to the situation. ”You’ve had it forever. Is there any tread left on the tire?” ”I’m pretty sure the shirt you borrowed won’t be in fashion by the time you give it back.” ”How many times have you beaten the game I lent you by now?” "It's been so long since you borrowed it I forgot if it's a DVD or a VHS."
Being Nonchalant to Get it Back
Visit your friend. Go on a social call to your friend’s house and act as if the visit is unrelated to the loaned item. Eventually get around to talking about the loaned item, or about something related to your loaned item. A movie: “Remember that Halloween dance scene in Karate Kid?” A tool: “My yard is a mess. I’ll have to weed eat for days.” A clothing item: “What I really need is a black scarf to complement this outfit.”
Mention its presence during conversation. Note the object in the room, something close enough to be picked up. When calmly talking about the item, mention you had the same item once. Maybe even say how much you enjoyed having it.
Pretend you forgot it. When you’re near your friend and see the item, say, "You know what? I think this one is mine! Did I leave it here?" Playing dumb is often a good way to be less threatening. They won’t be able to deny the truth. They’ll likely mimic your feigned ignorance.
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