- Let her know you appreciate her non-physical traits, like her sense of humor, her kindness, her intelligence, and her creativity.
- Compliment her looks, but be creative—and don't only do it when she's dressed up. Tell her how hot she is when you're watching TV in your PJs.
- Talk about the future so she knows you're in the relationship for the long haul.
- When she's having a bad day, let her know you care and ask how you can support her.
“You’re so smart.”
Compliment her intelligence. When it comes to praise, many people’s go-to is to compliment their significant others—especially women—on their beauty, which is all fine and good. However, make sure she knows how much you appreciate the immaterial aspects of her personality, including her intellect. “I can’t believe you knew the answer to that Jeopardy! question! You’re a genius!” “You’re absolutely brilliant.” “You’re really clever, and always seem to see things nobody else does.”
“You’re a creative genius.”
Praise her creativity. Along the same lines as complimenting her intelligence, your partner wants to feel appreciated and seen for who she is beneath the surface. Let her know how in awe of her creative brain you are by complimenting her imagination. “Wow, how on earth did you think of that? I never would have thought of that in a million years.” “You have the wildest imagination!” “I’ve never known anyone with as colorful an imagination as yours.”
“You’re hysterical.”
Acknowledge her hilarity. To make your lover feel special, tell her how funny you think she is. She probably enjoys making you laugh—let her know you appreciate it, too! “You’ve got perfect comedic timing.” “You always make me laugh so much my face hurts.” “Your Jennifer Coolidge impression is hilarious!”
“Your eyes are shining stars.”
Compliment her beauty. Try to be specific and creative. Studies show women appreciate praise for their appearance in the form of metaphor, but there’s nothing wrong with a classic “You’re beautiful” once in a while. Let her know you admire her beauty when she’s dressed up for a date night as well as when you're both just hanging out in PJs watching TV. “Your hands are doves.” “Your cheeks are apples.” “You’re absolutely stunning.”
“I saw that O’Keeffe painting you like at the museum and it reminded me of you!”
Let her know she’s on your mind even when she’s not around. Do certain things remind you of her? Or maybe you see something at the store you think she would like? Let her know she’s in your thoughts even when she’s not in your presence. “They had Snickers at the checkout, and I know you like them so I got you one.” “I checked out that café you said you like. You’re right, it’s great!” “I heard ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ on the radio and it made me think of you.”
“I love you just the way you are.”
If she’s feeling down on herself, reassure her she’s perfect as is. Whether she’s made a mistake that rattled her confidence, she’s a perfectionist who struggles to accept her flaws, or she’s just going through a tough time and feeling insecure, let her know you love her just the way she is. “Don’t worry about that. I love you for who you are.” “I think you’re perfect, even when you don’t believe it yourself!” “I know you’re nervous about this, but it’s not a big deal. I didn’t even notice!”
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”
Be honest about how you feel. It’s important to show your partner that you care, but it’s also important to say it directly from time to time. Say it during expected moments, such as when you’re saying goodnight, as well as when it’s unexpected, like when you are sitting on the couch binging The Mary Tyler Moore Show. The important thing is to be sincere. “Nobody has ever made me this happy.” “I’m so glad you’re in my life.” “I love you so much.”
“I can’t believe I had never seen Frasier before I met you!”
Tell her how she has improved your life. Has she introduced you to new books or TV shows, had an influence on your mood, made you laugh, or just been an overall supportive person? Let her know! “This is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in!” “Ilya Kaminsky’s poetry has seriously improved my life, and I have you to thank for introducing it to me!” “I feel so much better about myself since dating you.”
“I'm taking you out Saturday night.”
Keep the relationship thriving with frequent dates. While the early months of a relationship might be full of passion, flirtation, and fun nights out, once you've settled into a comfortable relationship with your partner, it can be easy to let the dates fall by the wayside. Keep the spark going by letting your lady friend know dates are still a priority. "Get out your dancing shoes! We're going to the club." "That new Thai restaurant opened up! Let's go check it out." "How about we spend next weekend in a bed-and-breakfast?"
“What did you think of that movie?”
Ask for her opinion to show her you value her perspective. While telling her directly that you admire her intellect or creativity is sure to please, putting that admiration into action by asking what she thinks will show her her ideas carry weight with you. Ask what she thought of the movie you just saw or the dessert you just shared, or ask for her feedback on more serious issues, such as politics or whether you should take a job offer. “I never listened to their music—should I? Do you like them?” “I’m glad I got offered that job, but I’m conflicted about taking it. What do you think I should do?” “I’m thinking of voting for her in the election, but I’m still undecided. What are your views?”
“I feel…”
Share your emotions with her. What you share doesn’t necessarily have to have anything to do with her or the relationship, although it can. Good communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Men in particular may have trouble expressing emotions, so if you are a man, your girl will appreciate hearing how you are feeling, whether you’re stressed out from work, angry that something bad happened, or in a good mood because it’s the weekend. “I’m so frustrated that I have to work late this week. I wish I could catch a break.” “I know you didn’t mean any harm, but I was really hurt when you laughed at me the other day. Can we talk about it?” “It’s such a nice day out! I’m so happy!”
“I’ve got your back.”
Remind her you’re there for her, through thick and thin. She’ll appreciate hearing this when she’s going through a tough time—as well as when she’s not. You might accompany comments referring to your loyalty and support with a hug or kiss on the cheek. “I’ll never let you down!” “I’m by your side forever, baby.” “If you ever need me, I’m here.”
“How did work go?”
Ask her about her day. Your partner will feel seen and appreciated when you ask her specifics about how she’s feeling or how her day went. Ask her how she’s doing—and then just listen while she shares. She’ll appreciate this no matter the situation, but she’ll feel especially seen if she is having a rough time and needs to vent. “How did that big meeting go?” “Are your allergies still acting up today?” “You seem quiet. Is everything going OK?”
“I’m sorry.”
Apologize when you screw up. OK, so maybe women don’t love to hear this—unless it needs to be said. When you’ve messed up, sometimes the only thing you can do is apologize, see if she wants to talk, and ask how you can make it up to her. “I thought I was doing the right thing, but I guess I wasn’t. I really hope you can forgive me.” “Would you like to talk more about it?” “How can I make this up to you?”
“You really know how to light my fire.”
Let her know you like what she does in the sack. If you’re sexually intimate with her, convey how much you enjoy it. You can be romantic and express that you appreciate the intimacy sex brings you, or get down and dirty and let her know what she does that revs your engine. “When you bite your lip it drives me wild.” “Last night was amazing. I can’t stop thinking about you.” “I feel so close to you when we make love.”
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