CHENNAI: The game goes like this. Right after everyone’s assembled at the table, they’re supposed to place their cell phones face down on the table, one on top of the other. This will form the Phone Stack, which is also the name of this game that has become increasingly popular on the Internet since January this year. During the dinner, the phones could incessantly ring or beep. But the rule of the game is to ignore them. The person who breaks first, reaching out to check a text message, naturally loses the game and has to foot the bill as punishment. This might seem like a fun party game or even a conversation starter for a new group, but it’s not. What it is is a way for those cell phone addicts to make a conscious effort to take their focus off their mobiles and engage in conversation without distractions. And if you thought this was some corporate gimmick, you’re wrong because this game, in fact, was created by a 22-year-old American who was tired of having dinners with her friends who were perpetually on their cell phones. “The problem here is that we tend to take advantage of our friends and family, unlike colleagues,” points out Rajesh Kumar Sharma, a smart skills trainer. When we’re at a business meal, we automatically know we have to put our phones on silent mode, excuse ourselves to take an important call and not constantly text from under the table. But when it comes to family and friends, we assume it’s okay to focus on our cell phones. But on the contrary, it’s not. “The problem is that families and friends no longer bond as strongly as they used to earlier,” explains Hafiz Khan, an experiential trainer. “Probably, today’s parents are giving away easier than parents of earlier generations,” he says. The neccessity to invent such games have arisen because parents don’t put their foot down about a no cell phone rule at the table. Social meals are meant for learning and relationship building, experts say. “When someone is constantly on the phone while at a social gathering, be it with family or friends, a lot of frustration and irritation is caused,” Hafiz says, “But after one point, the group gets used to the particular person not participating in the discussions and begins to ignore him.” This will eventually not only lead to lower levels of intimacy with the group, but also singling out the person from serious discussions deliberately. Such games are a good start to snap people back, but won’t do much good in the long run, rues Rajesh, “The only way for people to put away their cell phone while at the table would be if they are really aware of the contribution of others on the table to their lives,” he points out. It’s a mental and emotional change more than a social change, that will really do the trick, he says.
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