How to Show Respect

• Listen actively to other people and offer assistance, acknowledge their achievements, and empathize with their opinions.
• Disagree politely, apologize when you’re in the wrong, and follow through on your promises to build a positive connection with others.
• Show self-respect by treating yourself with compassion and avoiding self-destructive behaviors.

Listen to others.

Practice active listening to show you respect others. Watch and be quiet when someone else is talking, and spend time thinking about what they’re saying. Nod your head and ask follow up questions to stay engaged in the conversation. Too often, we wait to talk instead of really listening to other people's ideas. Even if you think you disagree, try to consider the point of view and empathize with it before responding.

Affirm people’s opinions.

Let them know that they matter. When you’re talking to someone, reinforce and validate their opinions in your own words. You can also affirm their achievements to let them know you see how hard they’ve worked. When you validate people and their achievements, you show them that you respect their hard work and effort. You could say something like, “I can tell you’ve worked super hard over the past 2 years to get your business off the ground.” Or, “What you just said was really cool. I can tell you’ve thought a lot about this topic.” Or, “I’ve never thought of it like that. You always offer a new perspective on complex issues.”

Empathize with different perspectives.

You might not understand it, but you can respect it. If you’re talking with someone and you disagree on something, don’t take it personally. Try to remember that everyone has a different background, and the person you’re talking to has their own reasons for thinking whatever they think. A good way to empathize with someone you don’t agree with is to say, “Huh, I never thought of it that way. What makes you say that?” Then, you can learn more about the person and where they’re coming from.

Disagree respectfully.

Don’t insult any opinions or ideas if you disagree with them. Instead, acknowledge your common ground before sharing your side. Be specific with your critique, and avoid simple or insulting language like "You're wrong" or "That's dumb." Say something like, "That's a good point. I think I'm seeing it a little differently though..."

Apologize when you’re in the wrong.

It shows a great deal of maturity and respect. If you mess up, a simple “I’m sorry” goes a long way in making things right. Try not to make excuses for yourself, and own up to what you did. It might also be helpful to have a plan in place so your mistake doesn’t happen again. For example, if you forgot a deadline at work, you could say, “I’m really sorry. From now on, I’ll be setting reminders on my phone and my computer so this doesn’t happen again.”

Call out disrespectful behavior.

Let the people around you know that you won’t tolerate it. If you see someone being rude or disrespectful to someone else, pull them aside and ask them about their behavior. Try to explain that what they did was wrong, and that they shouldn’t do it again. Say something like, “Hey, I saw the way you were talking to Julia earlier, and it seemed kind of rude. I just wanted to let you know that your comment came off as really disrespectful, even though you might not have meant it that way.”

Show gratitude.

Thank people for their assistance and their support. This applies to everyone: your partner, your parents, your siblings, your boss, or even your neighbors. Take a few moments to thank them for how they’ve helped you through tough times or been there for you in the long run. Say something like, “I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me. It was so helpful when you looked over my cover letter and my resumé—I know I couldn’t have gotten that job without you.”

Compliment the achievements of others.

Highlight when people around you do well in their lives. Draw attention to achievements and celebrate them with the people that you care about. Try not to be jealous (although it can be tough sometimes), and focus on how happy your loved one is. Instead of making your first reaction, "Why didn't that happen to me?" try saying "That's so great for them!" Keeping a positive attitude will focus attention away from yourself and spread goodwill.

Do what you say you'll do.

Stick to your word to show other people respect. If you commit to an event or make plans with someone, come through on your end of the deal. Being reliable shows respect for people's time, and shows that you're making a special effort to be there for them. Respect other people's efforts by being on time, being prepared, and being enthusiastic. Always come to work, school, or sports practice ready to go. Have your materials in order and complete all the necessary work ahead of time. You'll show respect for others by not wasting their time. If you have too much on your plate and you can’t commit, just say no. It can be tough at first, but it’s better to be honest than to be flaky.

Offer your assistance to others.

If a friend is struggling, lend them a helping hand. Volunteer to help your friend move, or stay late to help clean up after school events. Even helping your little brother with his homework or helping your dad clean the yard without being asked shows a tremendous amount of respect. If it seems like one of your friends or neighbors is feeling down or going through a rough patch, give them the encouragement that they might need. Learning to say, "You've got this" can make all the difference in the world for someone who might be struggling.

Take care of yourself.

Give yourself the same consideration you would to others. Treat yourself to well-deserved trips and gifts every now and again, and spend time with your friends and do fun things in your free time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and lean on your support system in tough times. Set aside a few minutes every day to practice self care. You could take a bath, read a good book, or listen to new music to lower your stress levels and take care of yourself.

Avoid self-destructive behaviors.

They can tear you down in body and mind. Stay away from drinking excessively or thinking self-deprecating thoughts about yourself. Treat your body with kindness, and try to be as easy on yourself as you would on a loved one. This includes exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy diet.