How to See Things from Different Points of View

Exposing Yourself to Different Points of View

Listen to other people carefully. Immersing yourself in someone else’s story or experiences while talking one-on-one is another great way to experience a different point of view. When you talk with other people, listen closely. Make sure to listen even if you don’t share their perspective and disagree with what they have to say. Instead of thinking about how you're going to respond, just focus on what they're saying. Make eye contact and face the person while they are talking. Ask them questions if anything they say is unclear to you. Let them know you are listening by rephrasing or echoing what they say now and then.

Respect people's differences. Recognizing that not everyone shares your beliefs and values may help you to see things differently. Whenever you interact with someone else, take a moment to remind yourself that they may not share your worldview, and that is okay. This may make it easier for you to gain new perspective from your interactions with them. For example, you might have a coworker who performs a specific task different than you do. Their approach might be very different, but still effective. Or, you might have a classmate whose family observes a different religion than your family, so their holiday celebrations might be nothing like your family’s celebrations.

Read or watch videos about other people’s experiences. Exposing yourself to other people’s personal experiences through books, articles, blogs, and videos may help you to gain insight into what it is like to be another person. Try reading or watching videos about people who are different from you to expose yourself to a totally new perspective. For example, you can read biographies, watch documentaries, or read/watch interviews with people who are from different countries, ethnic backgrounds, religions, or political parties.

Volunteer to help other people. Exposing yourself to different people’s experiences, especially people who are less fortunate than you, is another great way to gain perspective. By seeing how someone else has struggled and noting the things they lack that you often take for granted, you may start to view the world very differently. For example, if you volunteer at a local homeless shelter and hear about some of the stories people there share about sleeping on the street, then you might begin to feel fortunate for having a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in each night.

Attend the religious service of a different faith. Exposing yourself to a different belief system may help you to see things from a very different perspective and gain insight into other people’s experiences. Try attending a religious service at a church, synagogue, mosque, or another place of worship in your community. Aim to choose a service that will present beliefs that differ from your own. Make sure that you are respectful when you attend the service. You may even want to contact them ahead of time and ask if visitors are welcome. Try saying something like, “I am curious about your religion. Are visitors welcome to attend services?”

Spend some time living and working in a foreign country. For a drastically different perspective, try traveling to a different country and living there for a few weeks or months. This will expose you to new sights, people, and experiences. You could even get a job or volunteer there for an immersive experience in a different place. As you immerse yourself in a new culture, try to avoid judging or making assumptions. Instead, go in with a curious mindset and try to learn as much as you can. Look into organizations that sponsor volunteers to travel to different countries, such as the Peace Corps, Doctors Without Borders, or even a local religious organization.

Developing Empathy

Learn the difference between empathy and sympathy. Although these words sound similar and their meanings are often confused, they are quite different. Sympathy means that you feel sorry for someone or pity them. Empathy means that you have put yourself into the other person’s situation and considered how they must feel. For example, you might feel sympathy for a homeless person on the street because their situation seems unpleasant. However, if you feel empathy for this person, you would have imagined what it is like to sleep on the hard concrete, wear the same clothes each day, beg people for money to buy food, and worry about your safety day after day.

Think about how you would feel in another person’s situation. If you meet or hear about someone who has experienced a hardship, imagine how you would feel in that person’s situation as a way to build empathy for them and gain a new perspective. How might you feel if you had gone through a similar experience? Why might you feel that way? What might you do to cope with the experience? For example, if the person describes what it was like to be discriminated against as an African American living in the South during the 1960s, you might imagine that they felt anger, frustration, sadness, helplessness, and hopelessness about being treated poorly due to the color of their skin.

Aim to treat others how you would like to be treated. Thinking about how you would want someone to talk to you or help you if you were in their situation may also help you to develop empathy and understand other people's perspectives better. Imagine what someone could say or do to help you feel better if you were in that situation, then act accordingly. This may be as simple as acknowledging someone's pain and offering to help in any way you can. For example, if someone has just experienced the death of their family pet, then they might appreciate it if you said, “I’m so sorry for your loss. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Imagine that someone said or did something mean-spirited to you. Considering the worst-case scenario may also help you to see someone else’s perspective. Think about what someone could say or do to really hurt you. Then, use this experience to help you understand the hurt feelings that someone else has experienced. This will help you to build empathy and expand your perspective. For example, if someone called you an insulting name, how might you feel? What would your reaction be? Use these feelings to help you understand how someone who is different from you might feel and react if they were treated poorly.

Finding Common Ground with Others

Identify people who you find it hard to show empathy for. There might be just a handful of people who you have a hard time empathizing with, such as an annoying classmate or a nosy family member. It is also possible that you find it difficult to empathize with an entire group of people, such as women, Protestants, or Canadians. Try to pinpoint all of the people who you have trouble empathizing with, even if your list is long. Write out your list of people and/or groups of people.

Ask yourself why it is difficult for you to empathize with certain people. Now that you have identified the groups or individual people you cannot seem to empathize with, consider why that is. What is it about these particular people or groups of people that seems so alien? Do they make you feel angry, afraid, confused, or something else? Write out your reasons for feeling alienated from these people or groups of people.

Look for common ground with people who are different from you. After identifying your reasons for feeling alienated, try to think about what you have in common with that person or group of people. Even if your lives seem completely different, you probably share some important goals and interests. For example, you might feel very different from someone who comes from a different country and religious background than you, but you probably both care about your friends and families, appreciate basic human rights and freedoms, and want to be successful. Focus on these common interests and this may help you to feel empathy for the person or group of people you have identified.