How to Identify a Psychopath

Checking for Key Personality Traits

Look for insincere charm. Just as an actor takes on many roles, a psychopath will put on what professionals refer to as a "mask" of normality that is likable, pleasant, and charming. A psychopath is known to be the "life of the party" and generally appeals to everyone. Usually, a psychopath will attempt to influence people to like them so that they are more pliable to manipulation later. Psychopaths exude an air of confidence that naturally draws others to them. They probably have a stable job with relative success. They could even have a relationship or a spouse and kids. They are quite good at playing the role of “model citizen.”

Look for a grandiose self-perception. Psychopaths will often believe they are smarter or more powerful than they actually are. They like to cozy up to successful and powerful people because it raises their own status. They believe they are owed special treatment over others. Their inflated sense of self-importance often leads to one crack in their mask of normalcy. They will step on your toes if you don’t have any value or status to offer them.

Check for impulsivity and irresponsibility. Both of those characteristics are evidence of psychopathy. They tend to see nothing at all wrong with their way of being in the world. Psychopaths are infamous for their refusal to acknowledge responsibility for the decisions they make, or the outcomes of their decisions. In fact, a refusal to see the results of one’s bad behavior as having anything to do with oneself—“consistent irresponsibility". Something like, “ I don’t want to go to work” or “I think I’ll blow off this meeting and get a drink instead” are common impulsive ideas that a psychopath might act on. A psychopath is the opposite of reliable and dependable. Psychopaths are self-centered, acting on a whim based on their own emotional state. They do whatever they want, whenever they want to. This may result in them cheating, lying, committing crimes, and stealing—just because. They may be sexually promiscuous with a string of relationships or infidelities. They may even quit jobs out of the blue (because it was beneath them, of course).

Watch for rule-breaking tendencies. If your acquaintance tends to follow rules by the letter, it’s unlikely they have psychopathic traits. Psychopaths loathe authority and typically view themselves as above rules. It's estimated that 93% of male, adult psychopaths in the United States are in prison, jail, parole, or probation, which is linked to the rule-breaking tendencies of psychopaths. Still, others are able to avoid prison while still stepping over laws and not having any hang-ups about doing so.

See if they have a history of juvenile delinquency. Experts find common threads in the childhoods of adults who go on to meet the criteria for psychopathy. Psychopaths often exhibit delinquent behaviors in their youth, including aggressive behaviors towards others. In addition, they may not react to distress or punishment as other youth would. Check to see if the person you suspect of psychopathy had a troubled youth. This could possibly indicate the presence of psychopathic tendencies in adulthood.

Watching for Emotional Displays

Consider their moral code or personal ethics. If the person in question appears to have a conscience, they’re probably not a psychopath. In general, psychopaths lack any sort of moral compass. They will do whatever they need to advance, and they really don’t care who they hurt in the process. For example, a psychopath is unlikely to live by a "code" like others do. They may see no problem going after a friend's date or competing with a close pal for a job promotion, and gloating about it.

Consider the affect or emotional response a person has. Psychopaths have shallow emotional responses and do not react normally to deaths, injuries, or other events that would cause a deep negative response in others. The difference between psychopathic and typical autistic responses is that while autistic people may seem initially numb, they may melt down in distress later or throw themselves into research and ways to help. With psychopaths, there are no deep emotions hiding underneath.

Look for any feelings of guilt. Individuals with psychopathy have a general absence of any guilt or remorse. Callousness is one of the primary characteristics used to describe them. A psychopath may feign guilt over bad behavior in order to manipulate a person into not becoming angry. For example, they pretend to go into a guilt spiral over hurting their victim, so the victim ends up consoling them instead. Interestingly enough, while psychopathy precludes genuine empathy, people who have this condition are able to fake empathy very well. They cannot spontaneously empathize, but can do so at will (to charm others for example).

Consider whether the person can accept responsibility. A psychopath will never genuinely admit to being wrong or owning up to mistakes and errors in judgment. When pressed, they may admit to making a mistake, but manipulate others so as to avoid any consequences.

Watch out for pity parties. Psychopaths are experts at manipulating your emotions and insecurities into causing you to view them as the victim. This helps lower your guard and makes you vulnerable for future exploitation. If the psychological resource of the victim mentality is continually combined with unacceptable and evil actions, you should be warned about this person's real nature.

Observing their Relationship Habits

Check for pot-stirring characteristics. Psychopaths love to create chaos and drama. Because they tend to bore easily, it’s important to them that things stay interesting. They may provoke arguments and then come off as the victim. They could wreak havoc on others’ lives and sit back and watch innocently. If someone in your life is a psychopath, you probably leave interactions with them questioning your own sanity. Let’s say you’re at work and the psychopath alerts you that one coworker has been insulting you behind your back. They coax you to confront the person. In the aftermath of an ugly confrontation, you eventually realize that the other person was goaded just like you.

Notice signs of manipulation. Everyone is driven by an objective of getting what they want. But psychopaths are identified as extremely cunning in this area. They are able to get you to do things you might not normally do. They may use guises, guilt-tripping, coercion and other methods to get victims to do their bidding. For example, you are a high-ranking executive in your company. The psychopath “befriends” you and teases out your weaknesses. One day you arrive at work to hear that news of a scandal is affecting the workplace. It seems sensitive information you told the psychopath was leaked to the media. You are fired. Guess who’s in line to take your position?

Assess their relationships. Some psychopaths have many short-term marriages. They will blame marital problems on their ex-spouses, and never suggest that they played a role in the marriage's failure. The relationship starts off with them idealizing their partners. Over time, they devalue and ultimately discard that partner for a newer, more interesting one. They never truly bond with partners; therefore, walking away from a marriage or relationship is quite effortless.

Determine if there is pathological lying. A psychopath will tell all sorts of lies—little lies to trip you up or whopping made-up stories intended to mislead. Even when telling the truth would be painless, they still default to lying. Surprisingly enough, this doesn’t cause shame. They take pride in their lies. And if you think you’ve caught them up, they simply switch around the facts to appear truthful. Plus, they’ll never appear flabbergasted about a lie. They are calm, relaxed and able to talk their way out of anything. They never seem to get rattled about anything.

Listen for an awkward, dishonest apology. If a psychopath is backed into a corner and expected to show remorse, they may put on a show to meet the demand. However, because their emotional affect is so blunted, they are unable to deliver a convincing apology. You might witness inconsistencies like them saying “Seriously, I never meant to hurt you” with a slight smirk on their face and their tone lacking authenticity. If you seem to have trouble getting over it, they may turn on their wrath. They may even say “You’re so sensitive” or “I thought we were going to move on from this!”