How to Find Meaning in Life

Nurturing Your Connections with Others

Remind yourself of the unique roles you play in other peoples’ lives. Take some time to reflect on how much you matter to your loved ones. Make a mental list of your family and friends, and think about the unique role you play in their lives. Whether you're a parent, child, sibling, friend, teacher, or student, you play a unique role in each of your relationships, and those roles add meaning to your life. In each of these examples, you and your loved one matter to each other, and that gives your life meaning. For instance, if you're a parent, you play an incomparable role in your kids' lives. You and your best friend are special, unique parts of each other's lives. If you have a sibling, you share an irreplaceable bond with them.

Help others in small ways whenever you have the opportunity. Even the smallest acts of kindness can help you make a mark on other people’s lives. From your loved ones to complete strangers, try to nurture your connections with others with kindness and generosity.Example acts of kindness: If your sibling just had a baby, offer to babysit so they can sleep, or do some household chores for them. If your partner is stressed out at work, you could cook them a nice, comforting meal. If your elderly neighbor has trouble bringing out their trash cans on garbage day, do it for them.

Volunteer for a cause that’s important to you. In addition to small acts of kindness, volunteering can give you a greater sense of purpose and meaning. Devote your time to a worthy cause, and reflect on how your actions are making a real difference in someone’s life. Volunteering for a cause you value is especially meaningful. For example, if you love animals, foster pets or volunteer at a local animal shelter. If a loved one is sick, you could volunteer for a charity related to their illness.

Think of your job as a meaningful act of service. Feeling like your job is pointless is normal, but the key is to change the way you think about your work. Draw connections between your day-to-day tasks and the people you’re ultimately serving. No matter what you do for a living, take pride in the fact that your work improves someone’s life, solves a problem, or makes the world a better place. You don’t need to be a doctor or firefighter to make an important difference in someone’s life. Suppose you’re a waiter; focus on the roles you play in your guests’ lives. Think about how you’re helping your customers unwind after a long day or celebrate an important occasion. Additionally, if your job doesn’t feel meaningful, remember why you work. Think about how the money you earn pays your bills. If you have kids or help support your parents, think about how your work is an invaluable service for someone you love.

Ask yourself how you want people to remember you. Consider how you can leave lasting impacts on the people in your life. You don’t need to have a monument in your honor to leave a lasting legacy. From teaching someone a lesson or skill to helping a loved one through tough times, you can make a meaningful impact through positive actions. Thinking about topics like mortality and your legacy isn’t easy. It’s especially tough if you’ve lost someone close to you or if you or a loved one are facing a life-threatening illness. Questioning life’s meaning in these situations is normal, but don’t let doubt overwhelm you. Accept that no one lives forever, but remember that your presence leaves a lasting impact on the world. Focus on making a positive, meaningful difference through your kindness, humor, service, and love.

Pursuing Purposeful Goals

Write a list of your most important personal projects. Think of what gives you purpose on a day-to-day basis, and list projects and goals that relate most to your core values. Examples include learning a new hobby, writing a book, getting into better shape, or being a great parent.What is purpose? In psychology, purpose is the intention to accomplish something that’s both personally meaningful and engages the world beyond yourself. Making genuine connections is at the core of this definition, so come up with projects that sincerely express who you are. You can do something for your whole life without feeling inspired or moved by it. Try finding your true calling so you can have a purpose and be happy about it. The people who feel more fulfilled in life are usually the ones who know their vocation in life.

Divide your projects and goals into achievable steps. Now that you’ve written down your personal projects and goals, work on drawing concrete actions from them. Turn the abstract, big-picture things that give you purpose into specific actions that you can accomplish every day. For instance, reframe the goal “write a book” as “write for half an hour every day.” Divide a goal like “become a dentist” into steps, such as “study every day to keep my grades up,” “shadow or intern at a dentist’s office,” and “take a prep course to ace the Dental Admission Test.” When your goals don’t seem achievable, it’s easy to feel like you don’t have a purpose. If you feel stuck in a rut, assess your current projects, and break them up into steps that can give you a sense of purpose on a daily basis.

Pursue your goals every day. After dividing big, unapproachable goals into more doable terms, commit to making them happen every day. Set reminders on your phone, place motivational words and pictures in prominent spots, and schedule blocks of undisturbed time every day for your personal projects. Whether you’re practicing the piano, writing, or saving up to buy a house, accomplishing a concrete step every day can make your actions feel more meaningful. Turning abstract goals into concrete steps is a valuable skill, and people who’ve learned how to do it tend to adapt better to bumps in the road. For instance, suppose someone who runs marathons gets sick or injured. Even if their ability to exercise is limited and they can only run for short distances, they can still pursue their goal of physical fitness without losing their sense of purpose. Do your best to let go of feelings of shame or regret when a goal doesn't pan out the way you planned. Process what happened and try to learn why these goals appeared so that you can avoid making the same mistakes again. Every failed situation is an opportunity to grow.

Talk to trusted loved ones if you need clarity. Don’t worry if you’re having a hard time coming up with a list of goals and values. Getting to know yourself and your priorities takes time, so have patience. The people who know you best can offer a helpful perspective, so get help clarifying your core values and goals from those closest to you. You could bring up the subject by saying, “I’ve been feeling a little confused lately about my purpose in life. I’m trying to figure out what I value most and how I can come up with meaningful goals.” Ask your confidante, “What would you say is your purpose? How did you figure it out? What are the things that you associate most with me? From your perspective, what are some of my core drives and values?” Seek advice from your trusted loved ones to broaden your perspective but don’t look to them for all of the answers. They can only offer their point of view; defining yourself and your values are ultimately up to you.

Making Sense of Life Experiences

List the core traits that define your identity. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” and make a mental list of what makes you who you are. Decide what personal traits, values, and qualities give your life a sense of continuity. For instance, you may love painting, treasure travel, or always put your family first. Cohesion, or things that are predictable and make sense, is one aspect of finding meaning in life. Try to come up with some aspects of yourself and your experience that remain constant over time. Favorites, likes, and dislikes change over time, but they might hint at your underlying passions. For instance, your favorite bands and singers may change, but your love for music is constant.

Remind yourself of your life’s story. Every now and then, remind yourself who you are, what you’ve been through, and which lessons life has taught you. Recount how you grew up, times in your life that felt the most meaningful, and the most important people in your life. As you recall your life history, think about the biggest decisions you’ve made and how those decisions steered you to where you are today. For instance, think to yourself, “I am Noelle, and I’m unique, passionate, and talented. I grew up in a big family, and they mean the world to me. My parents’ hard work inspires me, my siblings look to me as a role model, and my baby niece constantly renews my sense of wonder.”Finding meaning in your life story: Recounting your story is helpful if you’re feeling lost in general. It’s also an effective exercise for a range of specific situations. When someone learns they’re adopted, for instance, recounting a personal narrative can help them respond to doubts about their identity.

Remember that suffering allows you to offer others compassion. Don’t feel alone if you’re going through a hard time and have been asking yourself “What’s the point?” It’s hard to find meaning when everything seems to go wrong or when bad things happen to good people. However, while many aspects of life are beyond your control, you have the power to turn seemingly senseless suffering into something meaningful. From spraining your ankle to losing a loved one, life’s challenges can help you become a more compassionate person. For instance, if you’ve been through a breakup, you’ll be able to help a friend if their relationship ends.

View tragedies and trauma from a “big picture” perspective. When viewed in isolation, or up close, losing a loved one, being abused, or experiencing a serious illness can make life seem meaningless. Processing traumatic events isn't easy, but it can be helpful to understand trauma in the context of a broader life story. Seeing trauma and tragedy as opportunities to grow and be of service to others can help you find meaning in life’s most difficult situations. For instance, making sense of life after surviving abuse is a difficult, gradual process. For many survivors, using their experience to help others in similar situations plays an essential role in healing.

Turn to your belief systems to make sense of big questions. From the vastness of the universe to the breadth of time, some things in life are beyond comprehension. Sometimes, thinking about these big topics can make life feel meaningless. When life is too much to process, chaotic, or unpredictable, turn to your spiritual and cultural traditions to renew your sense of order. Spirituality is one way to make sense of life’s biggest questions, but it’s not the only source of order. When the universe seems too big and too senseless, try taking a walk in nature. Think about how predictably trees flower, shed their leaves, endure winter, and begin the cycle all over again in the spring.