- A relapse occurs when you return to your old pattern of use after an attempt to stop drinking. It's a common thing and not a sign of failure.
- Get support and avoid triggers to avoid a relapse. When you feel a craving coming on, ask yourself if you're really hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT).
- If you have a relapse, stop drinking immediately and get support. Talk to your doctor if you need additional help diminishing your cravings, such as medication.
How to Avoid Alcohol Abuse Relapse
Identify and understand your triggers. When you first decided to quit, you likely identified at least some of the things that trigger you to drink. Go back and look at that list—you might even have things you can add to it. Dig into the things on the list and try to understand them better so you know how to avoid them. The better you are at avoiding your triggers, the less likely you'll be to relapse. You may have heard exposure to a trigger described as a high-risk situation. These are times when you're at a higher risk of drinking. For example, if you typically drink when you're around a certain friend, going out with that friend—even if there's no drinking involved—puts you in a high-risk situation. During the emotional stage of relapse, you might be in denial of the risk of relapse. You might believe that you're capable of handling high-risk situations without going back to drinking. Be mindful of your triggers at all times.
Use "HALT" when you feel a craving to drink. Sometimes, a craving to drink is really a sign that your other basic needs aren't being met. Ask yourself if you're really hungry, angry, lonely, or tired (HALT). If you determine that you are one of those things, do something to address that need and see if the craving goes away. For example, if you've determined that you're lonely, you might call a sober friend and talk to them for a while or even go visit them and hang out until you feel better. Sometimes, having a bite to eat and some water and taking a nap is all you really need to overcome the craving.
Build a strong support system around you. When you're going through the recovery process after drinking heavily, a strong support system makes all the difference. Keep people around you who are ready to be there for you when you need them, any time. Keep in regular contact with these people and be honest with them about how you're doing. If you're in the emotional stage of relapse, you might be inclined to push these people away. You probably don't feel like expressing your emotions that much, or you might be ashamed that you're thinking about drinking again. Just be honest with them—they'll understand. Pull together an emergency contact list of a handful of people (or more) to call in case you are feeling like you're going to relapse. People who've been through the same thing are especially good for this kind of support. Because they've been where you are, you don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed to reach out when you're struggling. Reach out to your doctor as well. They can prescribe medication that will help curb the cravings that can lead to relapse.
Practice mindfulness meditation. Being more mindful is a great way to prevent relapse. If you find it beneficial, meditate when you feel a craving coming on—it will help you stay in the present moment and understand that craving as a momentary feeling that you can control. Research shows that mindfulness significantly reduces cravings in people who've recently quit abusing alcohol. Meditation also helps you become more aware of your actions so that you can act with intention rather than doing things mindlessly on autopilot.
Change who you hang out with. This is a tough one if your social life revolved around drinking before, but remember that your real friends will support your decision not to drink and they won't want to drink or be drunk around you. If you have people in your life who are still going to tease you about drinking or offer you drinks, don't hang out with them anymore. During the mental stage of relapse, you'll often come up with excuses for why you can hang out with these people you previously enjoyed or thought you were having fun with. You might tell yourself it'll be okay. Remember that if you go back to hanging out with the same people you hung out with before you quit drinking, you're more likely to start drinking again. Make new sober friends and you won't face the same risk.
Socialize in different places that don't serve alcohol. If you've recently quit drinking, it probably doesn't make sense to go hang out at a bar or hit up a keg party. This is a high-risk situation for anybody who's recently quit drinking and it's just not a risk you need to take. Instead, go to a café or invite your friends to a park for a picnic—something that doesn't involve alcohol. If you're in the mental stage of relapse, you might have convinced yourself that it's okay if you go to a bar or a party where alcohol is being served—and that might be true! But it's better not to tempt fate and risk your sobriety if you're wrong.
Remind yourself of the negative aspects of drinking. A lot of recovery focuses on positive things and getting rid of negative thoughts. But there are some negative thoughts that you need to hold onto—specifically, the memories of the negative and bad things that happen when you drink. If you keep reminding yourself of those bad times, you'll be far less likely to relapse. A big part of the mental relapse stage is that you start thinking about the good times when you drank and idealizing drinking. You'll tell yourself that you had a lot of fun with alcohol and there's no reason you can't do that again. Instead, focus on the bad side of those good times—not the start, but the end. Think about how hungover you felt the next day, how you got sick, or how you had to call out of work.
Develop healthy coping strategies and stress management techniques. If you drank alcohol to cope with stress or trauma in your life, healthy coping strategies will make it so you really feel like you don't need alcohol anymore. You know how to handle things without it! Here are some things you can try: Do breathing exercises if you feel tense or anxious Try yoga to bring a sense of inner calm Meditate to focus and bring your attention to the present moment Exercise for a rush of endorphins Keep a journal to express and deal with your emotions
Get involved in formal treatment and support groups. People who stay active in formal treatment and are active in mutual support groups are less likely to relapse. This does mean that sometimes you have to force yourself to go to meetings or talk to your therapist when you aren't feeling like it. Be honest with those around you about how you're feeling and they can help. During the emotional relapse stage, people tend to isolate themselves from others and pull away from their support groups. Do what you can to stop that from happening and you'll help avoid a relapse.
Address co-occurring mental or physical health issues. Unfortunately, a lot of people who have a problem with alcohol also have other mental and physical issues. Sometimes, those issues only come to the surface when you quit drinking alcohol—and if you don't deal with them, you'll be more likely to relapse. For example, if you have depression, talking to a therapist and taking antidepressants can help get you in a better place mentally. If you abused alcohol for an extended period of time, you might have physical issues caused by your drinking. Visit your doctor and they'll help treat you and get you back to health.
Keep busy and avoid boredom. Boredom is perhaps the biggest cause of relapse. Fight it by finding a new hobby or something else to keep you occupied. This is especially important during times that you'd previously drink. For example, if you previously started drinking after work, you might start volunteering at an animal shelter and go walk dogs after work so you won't be tempted to drink.
Live a healthy and balanced lifestyle. You don't have to go overboard and become a health nut. But the more you invest in yourself and your own self-care, the less likely you'll be to relapse. Focus on things that make you feel good and feel strong, whether that's exercising regularly, eating healthy foods, or taking regular baths and moisturizing your skin. Treat yourself well and you'll start to feel better. During the emotional and mental stages of relapse, you're likely to pull away from any new things you've started doing as part of your sober life. Recognize when that starts to happen and do what you can to keep it from happening. A lapse in self-care is another big part of the emotional and mental stages of relapse. One of the benefits of self-care is that you build your confidence and self-esteem, which helps you resist a relapse.
Engage in positive self-talk. Positive self-talk will keep you from getting down on yourself and thinking that you should go ahead and drink again. If you really want to avoid relapse, constantly lift yourself up. Here are some things you can say to yourself: "I'm in charge of my own choices." "Every day is a fresh start." "I can do the tough things." "I am a work in progress."
Seek professional help if you're overwhelmingly afraid of relapse. If you get deep into the mental stage of relapse, you're likely already thinking about having a drink. Your doctor or therapist can provide you with additional support and resources to keep you from going down that path. If you've gotten to the point where you don't trust yourself and you feel certain that a relapse is going to happen, get help immediately. If necessary, your doctor can prescribe medications to help control your cravings and reduce the risk of relapse.
What to Do If You Relapse
Stop drinking immediately. It's the continued drinking that distinguishes a relapse from a lapse. No matter if it's your first drink or your third, stop drinking as soon as you recognize what you're doing and can get a hold of yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Tell yourself that this is just something that happens and that you'll be fine. If you're out at a bar or in a public place, find a ride so you can go home safely.
Call your sponsor or a fellow person in recovery. Someone else who's also in recovery is usually the best person to call first. You don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed to talk to them because they've been in the same place you are and they understand what you're going through. Calmly tell them what happened and let them support you. Listen to the person you call and do what they tell you to do in terms of getting out of the environment safely and getting rid of any alcohol you might have at your disposal. If you can't get in touch with anyone locally, call the SAMHSA national helpline. It's available 24/7, 365 days a year.
Make an appointment with your doctor or therapist. As soon as you've sobered up, call your doctor or therapist and let them know what happened. Schedule an appointment as soon as possible so you can talk about the relapse and determine your next steps toward treatment. If you drank too much and need immediate medical care, go to the nearest hospital or clinic and reach out to your doctor or therapist from there. Keep in mind that the relapse doesn't mean you're a failure! Discuss the triggers that led to your relapse with your doctor or therapist so they can help you come up with ways to avoid similar situations in the future.
Talk to supportive friends and family members. Call or text your friends or family who might be concerned and let them know what happened. Be honest! Tell them that you had a setback but that you're okay and you're working through it. Allow them to help and support you. This can be the hardest part of dealing with a relapse, especially if you have friends or family who've been critical of your drinking in the past. Don't let them get you down. Focus on the things that you've learned, or are learning, from the experience.
Learn from the setback rather than viewing it as a failure. Your doctor or therapist as well as your support system can help you with this. Avoid all-or-nothing thinking. You had a minor setback that's given you an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your relationship with alcohol. You're going to be okay. Just remember to take things one day at a time. This is a good time to get out your journal and write about the experience. Think about what led you down that path and what you can do next time to be more mindful of what's happening and go in a different direction.
What exactly is alcohol abuse relapse?
A relapse refers to a return to your old pattern of drinking. A lapse is that initial drink you have after you've abstained from alcohol for a while—and you can stop it right there. But if you continue to drink and go back to your old ways, that constitutes a relapse. Relapses aren't rare—as many as 60% of people who quit drinking have at least one relapse. Having a relapse doesn't mean you've failed. Look at it as an opportunity to learn more about your triggers and your use so you can avoid similar situations in the future.
Stages of Alcohol Relapse
Emotional relapse During emotional relapse, the person represses their emotions, stops going to meetings or participating in meetings they go to, and generally isolates themselves from other people. They likely let their self-care slip as well.
Mental relapse As emotional relapse progresses to mental relapse, the person starts thinking about drinking again. They tend to idealize it or think about all the good times they had when they were out drinking. They start feeling cravings for alcohol and might even start making plans to drink again.
Physical relapse Physical relapse is what most people think about when they think about relapse. This is when the person actually starts physically drinking again and returns to the same pattern of use they previously had.
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