Understanding what women’s desire is often assumed as a difficult question to answer. Despite living in an oversexualised world there is a huge lack of dialogue about women’s sexual desires due to the social stigmas and is generally restricted to seeking male validation. In many cases women either lack the language or knowledge to express what they want in terms of pleasure. In other cases, they are too shy to put their wants and needs out there. However, it is important to communicate and understand your sexual needs and wants for a fulfilling sex life.
Many studies have demonstrated various physical and mental factors impacting a women’s preferences for sexual activity and orgasmic experiences. However, societal standards and the media also have a significant impact on how we perceive women’s orgasms. “The sexual lives of women often come under scrutiny by all, sometimes including women themselves. While most of the world acknowledges that sexual engagement is a vital bodily need for both recreation and/or reproduction- when it comes to women their need for sex still remains unaccepted. The ones who dare to talk about sex or express their preferences are often shamed,” says Kanusha YK, Psychotherapist and relationship expert, Allo Health.
Stigma and shame surrounding sex, especially for women, is clearly visible in the limited statistics that are available in this context globally. “For example, most women are likely to start masturbating much later in life than their male counterparts. The orgasm gap between men and women is a popular statistic that again highlights this difference,” adds Kanusha YK.
Also Read: International Women’s Day 2023: Women Entrepreneurs Paving the Way for a New India
There has always been a disproportionate amount of emphasis on male needs, whether in the bedroom or on porn sites. Sexual activities that culminate exactly when the male partner ejaculates (sex that ends with the male partner finishing)– the women are basically just a vehicle used for the purpose of male gratification- rather than an individual with desires and equally important sexual needs. As a result, many women have grown up believing that the sole purpose of having sex should be to make their partner feel good- even if it’s at the cost of their own discomfort and displeasure.
Women Want Pleasure Priority
One great way to level the playing field in the bedroom is for women to be able to freely express their desires, wants and needs. This brings an important point to the forefront- for women to be able to describe what they like and don’t like in bed- they need to have that knowledge too. “Masturbation or solo pleasure is an amazing and safe way to explore your body and learn about what pleasure feels like for you. Who knew that masturbation could help women inch closer towards equality- at least during sex,” opines Kanusha YK.
One of the largest studies on female sexual enjoyment, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, states that > 36% of women said they NEED clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm, and penetration alone will not do it for them.
More than 50% of the women in the survey claimed that chances of arousal improved if more time was spent on increasing arousal through foreplay and if they were with a partner who understands their sexual preferences.
Some would say that unsatisfactory sex may even be worse than having no sex at all. Besides good sex is good for not just your sex life but also overall health including emotional wellness.
How can we alter our sexual script, then? How do we plan our enjoyment?
Remember, the only person in-charge of your sexual enjoyment is YOU- not even your partner. We aren’t talking about a world revolution, but you can change the narrative of your own sexual health by simply beginning to engage in things that help you feel more pleasure while feeling safe- whether this is with a partner or solo.
“Quick tip is to start planning your pleasure and scheduling some me time for you every once in a while! This women’s day let’s pledge to spend more time on making yourself happier and more satisfied,” signs off Kanusha YK.
Read all the Latest Lifestyle News here
Comments
0 comment