Have you ever wondered what makes you eternally happy? Shopping your heart out, eating like never before, and getting a promotion? No, these activities just provide momentary happiness. A common belief is that happiness is achieved when something noteworthy happens in life or if one indulges in something that provides pleasure or satisfaction. The fact is eternal happiness is experienced when one is mentally and emotionally at peace and indulges in experiences that are beyond materialistic or temporary gains.
So what can one do to really stay happy ‘mentally and emotionally’? One can feel happy by primarily doing two things: dealing with situations that are causing displeasure or distress and doing or making things happen which makes your life more gratifying.
Happiness = dealing with situations + making things happen
Let’s talk about the first half of our happiness equation, dealing with situations, to win the half game there.
Art of compartmentalizing
Compartmentalization simply means to bifurcate activities as per significance and not letting these hinder in other functions. Psychoanalysis considers that whereas isolation separates thoughts from feelings, compartmentalization separates different (incompatible) cognitions from each other. Maintain your proper work-life balance by not getting office work at home and vice versa; and keeping professional and personal lives separate. Your work doesn’t deserve to get disturbed by your personal baggage.
Communicate your differences
Often minor things in daily life like a small fight with partner or closed one tend to trigger your ‘over-thinking’ side. Do not let this happen by letting things go or talking it out. You could go back and communicate your worries to your loved ones or be your own best friend and indulge in a self-talk for mental peace.
Become your expectations manager
Living in an unrealistic world will never help you survive and seek happiness. So if you are still in your dreamy world, break your bubble. Having unrealistic expectations from people and situations tend to affect you the most. Take life as it comes without expecting and you will definitely see a positive change in thoughts and feelings.
To complete the equation and derive eternal happiness, one should also work at making things happen. Here’s how you can do that:
Happiness is more of a lifestyle than a goal
Happiness is normally considered a goal that people are striving to achieve. It should be considered as a process and a way of living rather than the end result. Bring about positive changes in lifestyle that will give you a sense of happiness and a more fulfilling life. Have a positive outlook while seeing things in day-to-day life and you will start experiencing what happiness in its true form.
Prioritize and allocate
A significant part of our lives is invested in fulfilling our responsibilities and doing what we have to do. Many times what we have to do doesn’t match with what we really want to do. The idea is to create a balance that works for you. One often tends to focus less on personal goals because of day-to-day functions. Try outsourcing work or partnering for work to finish activities quickly. Invest 20-30 minutes every day to do what you love; it can be singing, dancing, yoga, a long run, etc. While hundreds of things in a day will require you, always cut out a share of your time and indulge in ‘me-time.’
Focus on positive emotions
The field of positive psychology has often been described as the “science of happiness,” and while a large amount of research has been undertaken about happiness, positive psychology covers much more than just happiness, such as hope, resilience, strengths and positive emotions. We often forget to take note of positive emotions other than happiness like interest, zest, excitement, achievement, curiosity, etc.
Maintaining emotional and mental health to experience happiness is not a difficult task. It’s the simple day-to-day habits that we intentionally do that shape our brains to receive greater happiness. This is just a reminder to use all the resources you already have inside you to make yourself happy; not just one particular day but all round the year.
Dr Ajay Phadke, CEO & Founder, Type A Thought
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