Single mothers do it single-handedly

KOCHI: As the world celebrates International Women’s Day, a few single mothers in Kerala are still silently struggling to break the taboo of raising children on their own.“There are some people who still believe that the concept of single   motherhood is unacceptable. There is a belief that if a mother raises the   children on her own, there is something wrong with her. Either she is  too headstrong for her husband or her loose character forced her husband to break off the relationship. But, the silver lining is that society is slowly learning to accept them in their own way,” says Saju, a social activist based in Kochi.Besides unwed mothers, the reasons for many women to turn single are  many - a husband who is a drunkard, broken egos, womanising, age difference and ill treatment. The divorcees are the ones who bear the brunt of   most misconceptions.“Men always think divorced mothers are an easy lay. They approach us  assuming that we are frustrated. The initial days were too hard for me as it     felt like I had to prove everyone out there that I was not that kind of  woman for the sake of my son and my sense of individuality,” said Shobha, a  divorcee from Vyttila. And almost all these women, social activists say, are ready to sacrifice  everything in life to see their children lead happy lives. “Most of the single mothers, especially widows, we come across are scared  that their children might suffer if they don’t work hard. So they toil day    and night to keep their children happy. There are women with us, whose   children have achieved a good position in society. For them they say that they have no regrets in life, whatsoever.”   Unfortunately, single mothers who belong to the deprived section of society tend to go unhealthy and weak owing to the struggle. “They suffer from  serious health issues. It would be better if society stopped viewing them with an evil eye,” said Shafeena, a social activist based at SOS Village.However, a few of the single mothers feel that Kochi has always been kind to  them. “I was looked upon as a woman who left her husband and broke the  family. In Thiruvananthapuram, I felt life was difficult. The people in  Kochi are not that intruding,” said Smitha who had recently earned a divorce.