How to Introduce Your Boyfriend to Your Parents

Letting Everyone Know What to Expect

Tell him about how your parents might act. If you’ve brought home boyfriends before, you might have some idea of how your parents will act. Make sure to tell your boyfriend important details, like if your father will stare him down, or if your mom will ask him embarrassing questions.Tip: Be sure to tell your boyfriend how to address your parents. If they are formal, they might want to be called Mr./Mrs. (Surname). If they are more easy going, they might be okay with being on a first name basis. Give examples like, “My mom might tell you embarrassing stories about my from my childhood. It’s just what she does,” and, “My dad can be a little bit intense sometimes, but he means well.”

Tell your boyfriend about your parents’ interests. Conversation will flow more smoothly if your boyfriend has some idea about who your parents are. Clue him in on your parents’ hobbies, jobs, and social lives to give him an insight into what to talk about. If you want to, you can help your boyfriend think of specific questions beforehand. Try preparing questions like, “I heard you like to knit a lot, Mrs. (Surname). Are you working on any projects right now?”

Tell your parents about your boyfriend’s interests. Your parents will also be meeting a new person, so give them a heads up by telling them a little bit about your boyfriend. You don’t have to go into too much detail, but letting them know what he does for work and a little bit about his lifestyle will give your parents an idea of what to talk to him about as well. If your boyfriend has any interests that line up with your parents’, make sure to mention those. If your father and your boyfriend both like fishing, let your dad know so that they can talk about it.

Help your boyfriend pick out a nice outfit. If your parents are formal or traditional, tell your boyfriend to wear a button down shirt and some nice pants. If they are more laid back, you can tell your boyfriend to wear jeans and a nice t-shirt. Ask him to dress based on what you think your parents will appreciate. Don’t tell him to dress up too much - a full suit is probably too formal for a casual dinner. Try saying, “I know you want to make a good impression on my parents. Maybe you could wear one of your nice shirts to dinner, since I think they’d appreciate that.”

Reassure your boyfriend that everything will be okay. Encourage him to not feel nervous, worried, or freaked out. Explain that your parents are excited to meet him, that they've heard a lot of good things about him and that they're lovely people whom he'll like. Try to be understanding if your boyfriend is super nervous. It’s always scary to meet new people, especially if they are people that your partner loves and respects. Calm your boyfriend down by saying things like, “My parents just want to get to know who I’m dating,” and, “I’ve told them a lot of great things about you, so they’re excited to meet you!”

Choosing a Time and Place to Meet

Introduce him to your parents one on one, rather than at a family event. Meeting your significant other’s parents is a nerve wracking task on its own. Try to schedule a time to meet when there won’t be a ton of other people around, like a family event or party. A one on one meeting will give your boyfriend and your parents a better chance to talk and get to know each other. This will probably also help lessen your boyfriend’s anxiety about meeting your parents, if he has any.

Get together at your parents’ house for an intimate introduction. If you’d like your parents to get to know your boyfriend in a private place, ask if you can meet up at their house. Offer to bring side dishes or drinks to a meal that they cook. Introducing your boyfriend at your parents’ house will feel more one on one than a public place. Float the idea to your parents by saying, “I’d love to get together at your guys’ house so that we can all get to know each other. We can bring some drinks if you don’t mind cooking!” Try not to make a big deal out of the meeting. Instead of hosting a big, high-pressure family dinner, keep the meet-up fairly relaxed.

Meet up at a restaurant to have a more relaxed introduction. Restaurants are a good place to meet because they are neutral territory. Make a reservation at a restaurant and show up with your boyfriend so that he doesn’t have to wait with your parents without you.Tip: Make sure to choose a restaurant that everyone likes. That way, they can focus on getting to know each other and not the food. Bring up this idea by saying, “I don’t want anyone to have to worry about cooking a meal. Why don’t we meet up at one of our favorite restaurants?”

Do an activity together so that you have something to focus on. If you want to take the pressure off of the conversation, try going out and doing an activity with your parents and your boyfriend, like bowling or mini golf. This gives the outing a goal and will create a bond between all of you as you work toward a similar goal. Doing an activity together also gives your meeting a timeline and lets you leave once the activity is done.

Keeping the Conversation Going

Introduce everyone by name. Start everyone off on the right foot by making sure your parents know your boyfriend’s name and vice versa. Make sure that everyone is pronouncing everything correctly so that no one gets offended. Say something like, “This is my boyfriend, Zack. Zack, these are my parents, Mike and Terese.”

Keep small talk going by asking questions and making comments. You are the person who knows the most about everyone in the room, so ask your parents and your boyfriend about their lives and their hobbies. Try to include everyone in the conversation.Tip: It’s okay if there is an awkward pause every now and then. Meeting new people can be awkward in general. Use conversation starters like, “Dad, I heard you went hiking the other day. Where exactly did you go? Zack and I love to hike together.” ”Mom, have you read any good books lately? I just finished a great one, and I’d love to tell you about it.” ”Zack loves to work on computers. I bet he could tell you guys a thing or two about yours.”

Let your parents ask your boyfriend questions. It can be hard to let your parents interrogate your boyfriend, but the goal is to let everyone get to know each other. Let your parents ask your boyfriend about what he does and what his goals are in life. Only step in and change the subject if your parents start asking inappropriate questions that make your boyfriend uncomfortable. Questions like, “What do you do for fun?” and, “What did you go to school for?” are totally acceptable questions. Things like, “How many people have you dated before?” can make your boyfriend uncomfortable, and should be avoided. Use phrases like, “I don’t think he should have to answer that, Mom. Why don’t you tell us about your new job instead?”

Keep the topics of conversation light and social. If there are certain subjects that you and your parents don’t agree on, like religion or politics, don’t bring those up. Instead, focus on topics that will be fun to talk about and will let everyone chime in on a happy note. Stick to subjects like individual hobbies, fun vacation stories, or life accomplishments. Use conversation starters like, “Our trip to Europe was super fun! We can show you some pictures, if you’d like.” Or, “Didn’t you guys just go to the beach? How was that trip?”

Don’t leave your boyfriend alone with your parents for too long. Since your parents and your boyfriend just met, try not to leave him by himself in case he runs out of things to say, or feels uncomfortable. If you need to go to the kitchen or grab a drink, ask him to come with you and help. You can go to the bathroom on your own, of course, but try to be brief.