How to BS Your Way Through Class and Get a Good Grade

Essays and Report papers

Never use words like It's, They'll, etc. Always lengthen them to It is, They will, etc. This will increase the word count and length.

Put examples whenever you can. Look like you put a lot of thought in it and researched it. This will also increase the length of it.

Elongate sentences by putting BS in it. For example, instead of saying Martin Luther King, Jr. fought for no more segregation put: "Martin Luther King, Jr. was a great man who spent many hours putting stuff together; for example, speeches and protests, among other things, and it is very great that he did this, for without it, there would be segregation, which he fought against constantly". Basically, that small sentence was turned into a long, smart-sounding paragraph using the techniques stated.

Use introductions when you can. For example, if you're writing about computers, or anything that involves technology really, write some intro about how much technology has changed and give examples and a time line (you can do this without even doing research by just putting stuff you've already learned in the past about technology. For example, if you're a video game nut, put a bunch of crap about video game history). This will make it look like you spent a bunch of time researching, when in reality you were just putting stuff you already knew, but making it sound smart.

Gym Class

After you change into your gym clothes, NEVER get out of the locker room first. If you get out first, it will be harder to do the next step. Same goes for if you get out last. You want to get out in the middle so you can blend in easier.

If you have warm ups, wait until the more fit kids get done, then go a few seconds after. The teacher will pay attention to them when they get done with a set of exercises which will allow you enough time to look like you're done.

Only do the warm ups when the teacher is looking that way. He can't say you never did them when he didn't see you not doing them.

If you can, pick sports where you can stand there and look like you're doing something. For example: volleyball, capture the flag (just stand there and say you're playing defence), soccer (stand by the goal and, like in capture the flag, say you're playing defence.)

If you're playing baseball or something where you will be standing in line to wait for your turn to bat or what not, use politeness to your advantage. Tell the person behind you that they can go ahead of you, in which case they will say "You sure?", and you can smile and say yes.