How to Be Smooth over Text

Use a thoughtful or playful opener to get things started.

Set the tone for the conversation right from the start. You don’t want to come on too strong right out of the gate. Start with something like a photo or song that reminds you of them or try cracking an inside joke that the two of you share. Let them know you’re thinking of them and you’re down to chat. For instance, you could try, “I was just thinking about that time we took a pizza to the movies. Remember that?” You could also try, “I was driving along, minding my own business, and then Adele came on the radio and it reminded me of you.” They’ll feel special and excited to text with you if you start off on the right foot.

Mention something they recently did.

It’s a slick way to let them know you’re paying attention to them. Casually drop something they did or that they’ve recently accomplished in a message and compliment them for it. Play it cool and confident and act like it’s common knowledge. They’ll love knowing that you notice them, even when they don’t realize it. For instance, you could text, “Saw you got a new car, it looks awesome!” or “Love the haircut. Looks really good on you!” You could also focus on one of their accomplishments and try, “Heard you got into the college you always wanted. That’s amazing.”

Start a friendly debate.

It’s an easy way to get them engaged and responding to you. Try sending them a choice between 2 options and ask which one is better. Whichever one they choose, talk about how the other one is better. Keep it light and friendly and go toe-to-toe with them for as long as you can. A little fun frustration can make you look confident and smooth. Try texting, “Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. Which is better and why?” You could also try something really silly like, “So, I need to settle this. Is cereal soup? It has all of the properties, what do you think?”

Ask a genuine question.

Show them you’re interested in what they have to say. Try asking for their recommendation on something you care about and tell them that you trust and value their opinion. You could also ask them a personal question to get to know them better. They may like how confident you are and how interested you are to know more about them. You could try, “I’m thinking about getting a dog and I see how good you are with your pup. Got any tips about what I should do or prepare for?” You could also try, “Can I ask you a question? My sister and I aren’t super close. How do you get along with your siblings?”

Tease them a bit.

Poke a little good-natured fun to get them smiling. Show them you aren’t a suck-up or trying hard to get them to like you. Prod them a bit with your texts so they’ll see how cool and confident you are. For instance, you could try, “So you’re good with numbers? What are you, some kind of nerd?” You could also try, “Yeah the new pizza place is good, but I know you hate cheese and deliciousness, so you probably won’t like it.”

Make fun of yourself.

They’ll appreciate that you don’t take yourself so seriously. Use tongue-in-cheek comments to put yourself down, which can cause them to let their guard down a bit. Show them you aren’t pretentious or self-absorbed by taking a crack or two at yourself every now and then. Try, “Here’s the thing: I’m not very smart, so that’s probably why I forgot to sign up in time.” You could also try using goofy phrases or puns. For instance, if they say they forgot to pick up seasonings from the store, you could say, “So, you’re saying you’re out of thyme? I am so sorry. Yes, I have the sense of humor of a 50-year-old dad.”

Send them a meme they’ll like.

They’ll love that you get their sense of humor. Memes can be really useful. If you find one that you know relates to something in their life or personality, send it to them! You can add a little note letting them know you thought they’d like it, or just send it with no comment at all. When they see it, they’ll smile, appreciate that you get them, and probably be excited to respond. For example, if they’re huge Star Trek fans, you could send a meme with Captain Picard and say something like, “Thought you might like this” with a winking emoji. You could even make a meme out of an inside joke that you have with them using a meme-making app if you’re feeling extra creative.

Casually invite them to an event.

Confidently ask them to join you like it’s no big deal. Mention that you’ve got an event coming up that you have to go to and tell them you’d love them to come if they can. They may be impressed at how direct and confident you are and they might just take you up on the offer. Bam! Just like that, you’ve got a date. For instance, you could try, “Hey, my cousin is getting married in June, any chance you’d like to come with me?” or “I’ve got this work party I can’t get out of. Any chance you’d want to come with me? Free food and drinks!”

Offer a date idea and ask them out.

It’s a simple (and smooth) way to land a date. Mention a new restaurant, theater performance, movie, or something else that you’re interested in checking out. Then, ask them if they’d like to come along with you. If they say yes, you’ve just asked them out, you smooth fox! Try, “I heard the new Italian place across town has the best meatballs in the world. You wanna come find out with me on Friday?” You could also try, “This new Brad Pitt movie is supposed to be wild. You wanna go see it this weekend?”

Spice things up with a flirty question.

Show them how confident you are by just going for it. Use questions to heat up the conversation by asking them what they’d like to do with (or maybe to) you if you were together right now. You could also send a risqué photo of yourself and ask them what they think about it. Show them how confident and into them you are and they may just take the bait and play along with you. For instance, you could send, “What would you do to me if we were alone together right now?” You could also send a shot of yourself in a bathing suit and say something like, “I feel slightly overdressed. Can you help me out of this?”

Avoid sending multiple messages in a row.

Stay calm and give them time to respond. While it’s okay to send a follow-up text if they suddenly stop responding to you, try not to send more than three in a row. It can make you look desperate and un-smooth. Just be patient and wait for them to respond. Act like it doesn’t bother you so you seem cool and confident.