How to Be Edgy

Taking Life by the Horns

Take risks with your life, experiencing as many different things as you can. Edgy people are always willing to try new things. You don't have to go skydiving if it's not your thing, but you should accept invitations from people you're just getting to know, try a new cuisine you didn't even know existed, or take a last-minute road trip to hike a beautiful mountain. Don't just do the same old thing and make a goal of doing something completely new at least once a week. Being edgy requires you to fill your life with new ideas, people, and places. To stay on the cutting edge of ideas, you need to constantly be exposed to them! Start small, if you're feeling timid. Book a single vacation, take up the new hobby you've wanted to try, or try out a new bar or party.

Follow your dreams, even when they seem like a longshot. This may sound like it has nothing to do with an edge, but finding your dreams and going after them have everything to do with being confident and cool. Being edgy means looking at everything a little differently, doing your own thing, and being okay with the fact that it may not fit the world's idea of what you should be doing with your life. Pablo Picasso, Albert Einstein, and Coco Chanel were all edgy in their own ways, even if they only seemed eccentric or "different" at the time. They succeeded because they kept trying. Whatever your dreams are, be confident and comfortable about following them. So what if you want to be an actress or to publish a killer novel while knowing there's a good chance it won't happen for you? Following your dreams, however impractical they are, will give you some edge. And if you don't know what your dreams are, then now is a good time to find out. You can't really be edgy if you're feeling aimless or like you're just plugging along instead of following a passion.

Know that even bad experiences make for amazing stories. Do things even if the result may be consequential. Unless you have reason to fear for your life and safety, sometimes you need to just "do it for the story." Edgy people understand that things won't always go perfectly in the moment, but that these challenges and tribulations are the bases of many incredible, edge-of-your-seat stories later on in life. Though having goals is important, it's also important to sit at the top of a cliff once in a while. Make every experience matter. Do some things just because they feel right.

Let your passion for life shine through. It's okay if you don't rush downstairs to greet your roommate the second she walks in the house or tear your eyes off your captivating book the moment your crush walks by. Get engrossed. Get obsessed. Get completely absorbed. It's okay to be so focused that you don't completely notice what's going on around you; what's most important is that you're committed to caring about whatever makes you excited about being alive. Whenever you do something, give your full attention and effort to the task. You'll not only be edgier, but you'll learn faster and have more meaningful experiences.

Stand up for yourself and those you love. Edgy people don't just roll over when challenged. If someone calls you out, gossips about you, or even says something nasty about you to your face, don't back off. You don't have to start a fight or start name-calling, but you should be proud enough to be yourself that you know you're worth defending. Don't let anyone think he can get away with putting you down. You'll find that most people, when challenged, will back down. Don't feel the need to pursue or punish them if they do -- you've already won the battle.

Stay up-to-date. If you want to be edgy, you have to be on the cutting edge of things. This means you should see the new Sundance Film Festival winner, that you should check out the new Burmese restaurant everyone has been raving about, and that you should update your hair and fashion more than once every five years. It also means that you should actually watch the news, read the papers, and be able to carry an intelligent conversation about what's going on in the world. Being up-to-date doesn't mean you have to copy every trend that comes your way. There's a difference between being aware of trends and following them obsessively. You can never be current about every topic. Instead, get deeply immersed in the topics that mean the most to you, following your passion.

Hang out with people who challenge you. If you run next to someone who is faster than you, you will run faster. If you run next to someone who is way slower, your body will naturally slow down. The same goes for being edgy. If you know someone who is the height of edginess, who you deeply respect and admire and want to emulate, then keep on hanging with that person. If you know a group of people who likes to stay up late talking about Marxism, going green, or whatever it is that excites you, then make a habit of hanging out with them more. You don't have to think of them as your "edgy" friends. Just think of them people who encourage you to develop your inner edge.

Appearing Edgy in Conversation

Make strong eye contact with people and keep your posture upright. When you run into someone, make eye contact instead of looking down at the floor or seeming distracted. Show that you're not afraid to make a connection and that you're completely confident in yourself. Keep your back straight and your chin up, whether sitting or standing, and let your shoulders relax and pull backward. Great posture not only makes you look confident -- you feel it, too. Making eye contact shows that you're confident and ready to take things to another level. Don't let anything sag, especially your shoulders and chin. Keeping these two body parts level and strong will help the rest of your posture fall into place naturally.

Ditch small talk, going straight to conversations that matter. This doesn't mean "don't be friendly," it means talking about the relationships, ideas, and ideologies that make the world work, even if (especially if) it is the first time you meet people. Challenge others with deep questions, such as their hopes and goals, what they'd rather do than work, and their opinions on the major topics of the day. Don't be afraid to make people a little uncomfortable at first-- you'll be surprised how many people appreciate deeper conversations than "how about that weather." Follow your curiosities in a conversation -- don't tailor your topics to what is "polite" or right.

Let your opinions run free, but be sure you can passionately back them up. Edgy people tend to stray towards the extremes when they have opinions. This doesn't mean you need to take a stand on every issue -- quite the opposite. Instead, get deep into the issues that really matter, becoming a passionate advocate and leader on the cutting edge of issues. For the rest, remove yourself. It seems paradoxical, but it is far more edgy to ignore an issue you know nothing about than to hop on a bandwagon and pretend. Some opinions will be unpopular, such as what you think of your sister's new boyfriend or your political views. Just because your opinion is unpopular doesn't mean you should suppress it. Edgy people need to be well-informed about new developments and ideas, at least in your favorite subjects. Don't equate edgy with uneducated, even if you hate the education system.

Speak only when you truly have something to say. Don't mince words, offer half-thought ideas, or give compliments when you don't actually mean them. There is nothing wrong with thoughtful silence, especially when the alternative is mealy, useless conversation. The flip-side of this statement, however, is equally important -- when you truly have something to say, say it! People will fish for compliments or advice, but there is nothing wrong with being honest if you don't have any to give. In fact, it is far edgier than lying or ignoring the question.

Ignore the haters, squares, and others who throw you shade. Who really cares what the "popular" crowd thinks? If they make fun of you, just smile and walk away. This doesn't mean you're being mean or off-putting. Rather, you're realizing that you can only control your own behavior and that you rock. If you can't change the haters, don't bother with them at all. Don't waste your time trying to please people who don't really matter to you. Do things for you, not because you feel like someone else wants you to do them. Never forget that the only person you can control is yourself -- and that's a good thing! Edgy people focus on themselves.

Looking Edgy

Wear clothes because you like them, making that the only criteria for buying clothes. Who gives a flying care what others think of your clothes, if they match, or if they came from a thrift store? Furthermore, who cares if you spent $5,000 on that new jacket? The only factor determining whether or not you wear something is whether or not you want to wear it. Get your clothes from anywhere -- garage sales, thrift stores, high-end shops, big-box stores -- and worry about matching later. That said, dark colors and metallic details can probably add a little edge to your outfit.

Throw different styles together in the same outfit. Again, if you think it looks good, this is more than enough. You're not going to be edgy by copying the same trends you see elsewhere, and you're only going to find new outfits that work if you take some risks first.

Pull and steal style inspiration from everywhere. Don't feel like you have to be unique just for the sake of being unique-- paradoxically, you're still letting yourself be defined by what is "normal," you're just choosing to show the opposite. But fashion isn't so black and white, and neither are you. When you see something you like, an outfit idea to try, or some new accessories worth rocking, go for it. Take inspiration and ideas from everywhere and you haven't really stolen anything at all -- you've just melded it into your personal style. Always consider the overall tone or look of a style you like. How can you get this same tone across without the exact same clothes? If you'd like to just wear a "uniform," or the same basic outfit every day, this can be equally edgy. These people, including Steve Jobs (black turtleneck and jeans) and Barack Obama (gray suit), have largely ditched the societal pressure of choosing new clothes and instead wear the same well-cut, good looking thing each day. For a quick edgy look, invest in oversized and asymmetrical clothing.

Use accessories to cheaply expand your wardrobe and look. Just a few key accessories can kick your edginess up a notch. Girls can wear long chains (gold or silver), bangles, or chunky bracelets. Both guys and girls can wear out-there shoes, crazy earrings, or extra dark sunglasses. Carry a pocket watch if it feels like something you'd enjoy. Accessories let you quickly distinguish yourself without breaking the bank. Guys can use a messenger bag or a funky belt to edge up their look.

Consider a tattoo or piercing. Yes, being edgy is about being yourself, and you should never get a tattoo "just because." That said -- what are you waiting for? The reason there is so much overlap between edgy people and body modification (tattoos, piercings, etc.) is that edgier people tend to regard their body as a temporary canvass. They know that they only get one body, and they might as well "customize" it however they want. The consequences can be damned, because they aren't a big deal -- anyone who doesn't like your tattoo is just too close-minded to be worth the time. What you choose to get is up to you, but don't discount getting some incredible art just because you love it. Research local tattoo artists and breeze through their collections, or ask them if they'll make a custom design for you. Get a tattoo because you want it, not because it "probably looks cool." If you like the design still 2-3 days after you first saw it, take the plunge. Be careful -- tattoos can become addicting!