- Send a fun or flirty joke or pick-up line to break the ice and make your match smile.
- Reference their profile in your conversation to show you’re interested and create easy topics for conversation.
- Find something you and your match have in common and mention it. If you don’t have a lot of similar interests, ask them to teach you about theirs.
Make a reference to their profile.
Show them that you're interested in them as a person. Odds are, your match worked hard to make their profile sparkle and reflect their personality. Show you’ve done your research by commenting on something they put in their bio or one of their photos that really pops. I admire your courage for going on a rollercoaster. I'm the person who sits with everyone's bags lol YOUR CAT IS SO FLUFFY AND ADORABLE! How long have you had her? Whoa, you live in the city? What's your favorite part about it? I love your tattoo! What was the inspiration behind it?
Ask a fun, open-ended question.
Ask your match about something they're passionate about. If you’re unsure where to start, music, travel, and entertainment almost always tend to interest people. In addition, phrase your question so they can’t just reply with “yes” or “no.” The more they give you for their answer, the more topics you have to start a meaningful convo. You have unlimited money for the day. What are you buying first? What’s your dream vacation? High and low of your week so far? What’s your favorite song and why?
Send a silly or flirty pick-up line.
Get them to smile with a one-liner. Let’s be honest: everyone’s on Tinder to date or hook up. So, you might as well open with that energy! Use your best pick-up line to make your match smile, sweat, or blush (ideally all 3)! Don’t be afraid of being too corny or cheesy, either. The more bold and silly you’re willing to be, the more comfortable your match will feel with you. I think my phone’s busted. It keeps telling me I don’t have your number. Are you my laptop? Because you’re really hot and I’m concerned. How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm __!" Hey! I’m writing an article on the finer things in life. I was hoping I could interview you.
Use an ice-breaker game or multiple-choice question to start.
Send a “would you rather” question to get them engaged. This takes the pressure off your match to say something interesting. Because the responses are already set up for them, answering requires less effort so they’re more likely to reply. In addition, play an ice-breaker game like “truth or dare” or “2 truths and a lie” to get the ball rolling. This way, you’re both regularly sharing information about yourselves that you can discuss after each round. If you had to live near the beach or mountains forever, which would you pick? Let’s play “Never Have I Ever…” If you could describe yourself in only one word, what would it be? Would you rather have electrical sockets on your hands or your best friend be a tractor?
Send a joke or funny anecdote.
Use humor to make your match smile and avoid any awkwardness. Try telling a joke that references how silly and fun dating can be or finding a segway into a funny story so your match can get to know you better. Absurdity and puns are always welcome. Dinosaurs. The Empire State building. Whales…sorry, I never liked small talk. My roommate moved out because I made too many Titanic references. I guess you could say I'm king of the world now... My Mom just asked me what a body count is. Any advice on navigating that conversation? This is awkward. I just matched with you because I needed someone to check under my bed for monsters.
Dive into personal subjects like goals and childhood.
Getting vulnerable is a refreshing change of pace on an app like Tinder. Ask your match meaningful questions about themselves and their thoughts on life. Don’t be afraid to dive into philosophy, love, and politics. The more comfortable they feel sharing personal subjects with you, the more fun your future date will be. What are you afraid of? Do you have any regrets? What’s your favorite memory? When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Send your match a compliment.
Make your match feel good by sharing something you like about them. Try to avoid generalized comments on their appearance (“hey stunning, “you’re so pretty”). Instead, be specific (“You have great style,” “Your eyes are gorgeous”) or compliment something that isn’t physical like their vibes or sense of humor. OMG! I love your fit in the 2nd photo. You’re an amazing photographer. Still laughing at your bio. I love your energy. It totally comes through in your profile.
Find something in common.
It’s a lot easier to talk to someone if you have a shared interest. Scan your match’s profile for things you can bond over: hometown, music taste, mutual friends. When in doubt, ask them questions about their hobbies to get a better idea of where to steer the conversation. A Lady Gaga fan? I've always wanted to see her in concert. I can tell you really love to travel—me too! What's your favorite place you've visited? Finally, a fellow baseball fan! Planning on hitting up any games this season? I'm loving all the gaming vibes on your profile. What's the best game you've played recently?
Try to learn about one of their interests.
If your match is an expert in something, use that to start a convo. Asking for advice on their favorite subjects not only shows you care and are willing to put in energy, it easily allows you to set up a date so they can teach you. I see you played basketball. I’m terribly unathletic. Got any hooping advice? You say in your bio that you love ‘Survivor.’ I’ve never seen it. What season should I start with? You play bass? I’ve always wanted to, but my fingers are tiny. Any tips? You're studying film? That’s so cool! What's your favorite class you've taken so far?
Acknowledge that you’re on a dating app.
Show your self-awareness by getting a little meta. It can feel exhausting if you’ve been on dating apps like Tinder or Hinge for a while. You get the same questions and references to your profile over and over and over. You and your match will be able to commiserate together, which can lead to a more unique and memorable chat. Wait, you’re only a mile away? I’m gonna open a window and play the harmonica! Tell me if you can hear me. Give me 10 digits for why I should delete Tinder. *Reasons. Sorry, autocorrect. ???? [Insert cheap pick-up line here]. Laughter. Yadda yadda. Ice breaker. Make joke. Make a slightly more sexual joke. Laugh more. Can I have your number now? I’ve spent 9 hours trying to come up with a worthy opening line for you and I’ve still got nothin’.
Mention their name and get creative with emojis.
Emojis are a great, visual way to show off your innovation and personality. In addition, referring to someone by their name instantly makes a conversation feel more friendly and personal. Spice up some generic Tinder openers by adding emoticons of your choosing. (Keep your choices friendly and fun at first. Then, once there’s clear chemistry with your match, you can type flirtier options like ???? and ????.) Congrats ____! You have the best profile I’ve seen so far. ???? Hey there, ___! ???? Thanks for brightening my day. ????✨" ???????? Good morning, _____. ????????" ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Dangit, _____! You made me drop my Doritos! ????
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