How to Change Your Stepchild's Last Name to Yours

Completing Paperwork

Talk to the other parent. You should try to get the other parent’s consent. For example, if you have married the child’s mother, then you should speak to the father and ask if he will agree to a name change. For example, you could say, “You haven’t been around much the past few years, and I know Jonah wants to have the same last name as his brothers and sisters. Do you think you’d object if we changed his last name to mine?” If he agrees, then you can usually pick up a form for him to sign. It should be available at the courthouse in the county where you live. If you don’t know where the other parent is living, then you will need to try and find them. For example, you can do an Internet search and ask friends that you have in common if they know where the parent is located. Be prepared to tell the judge the steps you took to find the parent.

Pick up a petition for name change. Even if the other parent won’t agree, you can still petition the court to change your stepchild’s name. There should be a printed, “fill in the blank” petition available for you to use from the court clerk. Stop in and ask. Your spouse (your stepchild’s biological parent) may need to complete the paperwork. Involve him or her in the process. There may be other forms you need to fill out. For example, in New York, you need to prepare an “order” for the judge to sign. Make sure you get everything from the clerk.

Ask the child to consent. In some states, such as New York, a child must consent in certain situations. For example, a child who is at least 14 must sign a consent form, agreeing to the name change. You should check with the court clerk. Have an honest discussion with the child. The name change might be the child’s idea. However, if it isn’t, then be prepared to give reasons to the child why you want the name changed. You might say, "I've loved being your father for the past five years and would like to have the same name as you. You're part of my family no matter what you decide." You should also have the child’s biological parent involved in the conversation.

Submit the forms to the court. Complete the forms neatly, using a typewriter if available. If you must print, then print as neatly as possible using black ink so that the judge can read your information. Answer all questions on the forms. When you are finished, you should make a copy for your records and submit the completed forms to the court clerk. You may have to pay a filing fee. The amount will depend on the court. Include any necessary attachments. For example, if you had the father’s parental rights terminated, then you should attach a copy of the termination order. You may also need to file a copy of the child’s birth certificate.

Serve a copy of the paperwork on the other parent. You must give the other parent a chance to object to the name change request. For this reasons, courts will expect you to send the other parent a copy of your petition. You should follow the method your court allows for making service. In some courts, you can mail the forms certified mail, return receipt requested. In other courts, you will need to have the forms hand delivered to the other parent. Typically, you can pay the sheriff or constable to make delivery for a small fee. If not, you can hire a private process server or ask someone 18 or older to make delivery (provided they are not part of the case). If you don’t know where the parent is living, then some states allow you to make service by publication. Generally, this means you publish notice in a newspaper where you last knew the parent was living.

Pick up a hearing date. The court can schedule a hearing in one of several ways. In some courts, you need to get a hearing date when you file your petition. In other courts, the clerk will wait until everyone has submitted paperwork before scheduling a hearing. If the other parent agrees to the name change, then you may not even need a hearing.

Receive the parent’s response. If the other parent objects, then they can file an objection with the court, explaining why the name shouldn’t be changed. You will be sent a copy through the mail or by hand delivery. You should read the response closely and look to see what the parent is arguing. Alternately, the parent might not file a written objection but instead show up the day of the hearing to object.

Publish a notice. In some states, you may be required to publish a notice of the name change in a local newspaper. The court might work directly with the newspaper and can submit the information for you. In other areas, you must make arrangements. Generally, you have to pay a fee, which will vary depending on where you live. You also need someone at the newspaper to fill out an affidavit, which identifies the dates the advertisement ran. The newspaper should have an affidavit or you can get one from the court clerk. Keep a copy of the completed affidavit and file it with the court.

Attending a Hearing

Prepare your argument. Essentially, you need to argue that a name change is in the child’s best interests. A judge will look at a variety of factors, including the following: How long your stepchild has had their current name. It might be harder to change a name the longer they have had it. What changing the name will do to the child’s relationship with their parents. If your stepchild has no relationship with the parent objecting to the name change, then you should point that out. Whether the child has suffered harassment or embarrassment based on their name. For example, you could argue that the child feels alienated from their siblings because they have different last names. Your motives in wanting to change the name. For example, you might want to relieve your stepchild of embarrassment or stress. What the child wants. If the child is old enough, then their desire to change the name will also be a powerful argument in your favor.

Arrive to court on time. It is critical that you don’t miss the hearing, so give yourself plenty of time to get to the courthouse. You may need to find parking and probably go through security. Don’t bring any food to the courthouse. Also remember to turn off your cell phone before entering the courtroom.

Present your case. Wait for your case to be called by the court clerk and move to the front of the courtroom. Since you are requesting the name change, you will get to present your argument first. Remember the following tips for making a strong argument: Make only your strongest points based on the factors a judge analyzes. You won’t have a lot of time to argue. Speak in a loud, clear voice. Sometimes people talk softly when they get nervous. Don’t interrupt the judge. If the judge asks a question, stop talking and listen to the question. Ask for clarification if you don’t understand it. Answer the judge’s question directly. Don’t hem and haw.

Listen to the other parent. The other parent gets to make an argument after you finish. You should stand quietly and listen. If the parent says something you want to respond to, then you should write a note. Don’t interrupt the parent or raise your hand to speak. When the other parent finishes, ask the judge, “Your Honor, may I speak?” Then quickly respond to the other parent.

Receive the judge’s order. At the end of the hearing, the judge will decide whether to change your stepchild’s name. If so, the judge will sign the order. You should get a certified copy from the court clerk. You will probably have to pay a fee to get the certified order. The amount will differ by court.