- Show him what a great friend you are. Listen, be supportive, get to know his friends, and engage in meaningful conversations with him.
- Attract him by wearing flattering clothes and accentuating your natural beauty. Be confident and find little ways to touch him.
- Catch his eye, but also accept attention from other guys to prove how desirable you are.
- Give him time to break up with his girlfriend before openly making a move.
Getting to Know Him Better
Strike up a friendship with him. There’s nothing wrong with being a good friend to someone you like. Focus on being a positive force in his life, all while exploring a new friendship. This way, you’re creating an opportunity for a spark to form, but you’re not crossing any lines, and you’re not forcing anything to happen. If a connection blooms, then it might've just been meant to be! There’s no reason to overthink how you’ll approach him—just go up and talk to him! It’s always nice to build rapport and make a new buddy. Focus on what you share in common so your dynamic feels natural. For example, you can say, “Looks like we’ve both been working overtime! How’re you going to unwind later?” Some guys like to come to the rescue and help out. To give him that opportunity, ask for some support that’s not a major inconvenience: “Can you help me practice these vocab words? I want to make sure I’m ready for my skit in French class!”
Lend an ear whenever he wants to talk. When you get to know a guy, let him do most of the talking, especially if he’s naturally chatty. He might be used to having a girlfriend who dominates the conversation—you never know, and if that’s the case, then you score a really big advantage just by using active listening skills. Show him how much you enjoy listening to him: lock eyes with him, lean in, smile, and nod. He may get addicted to all the attention. Ask him lots of follow-up questions to prove you’re invested in the convo: “That’s so cool that you’re trying to make it to the League of Legends World Championship. Is there a cash prize if you win?” Watch for what lights him up and sparks his excitement. If he brags about himself a bit, make sure to compliment him and give him tons of praise. He’ll love how you stroke his ego and want to keep you around.
Be a shoulder to cry on. If you want a guy to see you as a potential love interest, make sure you’re there for him through the thick and the thin. As your friendship develops, remain emotionally supportive. Listen and sympathize whenever he’s going through a hard time. Whether he gets a bad grade on a paper or a negative remark at work, reassure him that you like him unconditionally. He’ll know he doesn’t need to pretend to be fine, and he’ll grow to crave your kindness and sensitivity. Let him know you’re always available for him, including in person, over the phone, or via text. He’ll realize you’re super reliable and dependable. Check in about whether he just wants to vent or if he’d like you to brainstorm solutions to any of his problems. He’ll dig how flexible and understanding you are.
Have deep conversations with him. As you build your connection, move from small talk to more serious topics. Discuss subjects that show off your smarts—your intelligence and substance will give you an extra edge. If he feels he can cover any territory with you, from philosophy to childhood experiences, he might dream of having you as a partner. After all, you’ll show off that you’re enchanting and mentally stimulating. Try talking about books, movies, and TV shows, all of which provide great conversation starters and a chance to chat about pop culture. Brush up on the news and current events—you can be his go-to source for any recent developments, and he’ll be impressed on how you stay on top of everything. Dive into subjects you’re passionate about. For example, if you're into history, share what you recently read about the Middle Ages. If you're into science, talk about the documentary on sharks you watched the night before.
Send “innocently” flirty texts. If you’re on a texting basis with him, then you can create some really fun tension and anticipation. Start off slow—send funny memes, commiserate over tough assignments or work, or chat about a new movie you just watched. Open up about yourself so he can see how interesting your life is and imagine being part of it. Texts are also a great way to gauge his interest level in you. If he responds to all your messages, it’s a sign you're on really good terms with him. If you notice that he ignores your texts, don’t take it personally. He might just have certain boundaries on account of having a girlfriend. Be patient and stay friendly—over time, you may have a better chance of dating him. When he lightly flirts with you by making cheeky comments or using fun emojis (like “????” or “????”) roll with it and seize the moment—fire back with an equally saucy message (such as ''I knew you’d like that. ????????").
Win over his friends. One of the best ways to become a permanent part of a guy’s life is to work your way into his inner circle. Jump at the chance to kick it with his whole crew. Show off your wittiness, funniness, and spontaneity to get on their good side. Keep it light and fun and they’ll probably tell him how much they like you. His thoughts might drift to how compatible you are and how well you fit into his life. Avoid outright flirting with his friends—it can really backfire, and he might try to be nice and set you up with one of them. Just keep it chill so he sees you as someone he’d want to date. If you think that your guy might vie to be the “Alpha” of his friend group, it’s totally fine if his buddies get crushes on you. This could just add to your appeal, and your love interest might fight to steal your attention from them.
Snag some one-on-one time with him. Try to arrange an outing and steal him away for a bit: you’ll be able to enjoy him all to yourself, and the moment will feel a lot more intimate. Play video games, watch a movie, catch up over coffee, or have lunch with each other. If you want to play it safe, suggest a study date at the library. If you can get him alone, you’re much more likely to build some amazing chemistry with him.
Wait and see what happens. Build your connection, continue to get to know him, and enjoy his company. These harmless tactics keep you on his good side, so if he ever breaks up with his girlfriend, you’re in a great position to land him as your boyfriend. Just remember that, as a true friend, it’s important to support him, and that means celebrating his relationship if he’s happy with it. Be genuine with him. He’ll recognize how sincere you are. If you're going to just stay friends with him, then don't wait on him. Meet new people, find other guys you might like, and date. You won’t win any points pining for him, so just let loose and enjoy yourself!
Attracting Him
Dress to impress. Now that you’ve got a crush, make it a habit to wear your best outfits. Rather than putting on something revealing or super formal—which might threaten his girlfriend—put on flattering, casual clothes on a daily basis. You’ll radiate effortless attractiveness, and he’ll begin to see you in a different light. Go with makes you feel attractive: that could mean leggings and an oversized sweater or a cute sundress and sandals. It’s important for you to feel comfortable and confident in whatever you put on.
Accentuate your natural beauty. In this case, subtlety is key. There’s no need to go over the top to attract the guy you like. Instead, choose a natural color palette when you do your makeup and style your hair as you normally would. When he sees that you’re adorable no matter what and without pulling out all the stops, he’ll view you as the perfect arm candy. It’s okay to put in a little more effort to give him something to comment on or quietly admire. Get a haircut or try a new hairstyle. Treat yourself to a facial, paint your nails, or get your eyebrows waxed.
Be confident. Holding your head up high helps you hook any guy, even if he has a girlfriend. Plus, being your most assertive, empowered self will help you feel great, and no one can claim you’re trying to steal a man—you’re just being yourself! Whenever you’re around him, smile, laugh, and say what’s on your mind. You’ll radiate a unique sexiness, a quality that’s even better than the tightest outfit or the perfect hairstyle. Even if he’s around his girlfriend, stay cheerful and upbeat so the spotlight shines on you. It's totally fun to work a whole crowd and have everyone notice you. Who knows—even his SO might admit how awesome you are. While it’s okay for him to check you out, try not to return the favor: it may look like you’re waiting around for him to notice you. Remind yourself that you’re simply fabulous, with an amazing life full of fun, friends, and family. You don’t need any guy to validate you!
Briefly catch his eye. One of the most low-key but powerful ways to acknowledge a mutual attraction is to lock eyes with each other. When you like someone, it can be so hard to avert your eyes—so if they end up on him every once in a while, that’s hardly your fault! Let him know you caught him staring at you and act coy by giving him a little smile. Then, glance away quickly—you two will spark up a “forbidden fruit” dynamic worthy of a rom-com, and he’ll definitely keep thinking of you. After a week of this fun little game, stop. Playing hard to get will make him miss your innocent flirtation.
Become what he wants. If you're friends with the guy, find out what he likes in a girl. More importantly, find out what he doesn't like in girls, especially in his girlfriend. For example, if he thinks she’s too nit-picky, point out all of his strengths and talents. While you shouldn’t mold yourself into someone you’re not, you’ll build a tight connection if you play up the parts of yourself that he’s most attracted to. Remember, if he’s going to leave his girlfriend for you, it should be to date the real you. Only shine a spotlight on the qualities you actually have rather than adopting a fake personality.
Break the touch barrier. Find ways to touch him in subtle, light ways. Be sure to keep it simple and avoid crossing any personal boundaries. Just stick to what’s totally cool between friends with a slight flirtatious edge. For example, if he tells a killer joke, giggle and touch his shoulder or playfully pat his chest. Try to put him in a protective role when you touch him. For example, hold onto his arm while you bend over to adjust the strap of your shoe. Be a warm, nurturing presence, too. If he’s had a bad day, you can wrap your arms around him. Alternatively, if you’ve had a tough time, let him come to the rescue—when you’re sitting down and chatting, lean your head on his shoulder and sigh.
Find another guy. Don’t rule out other guys while you work up to scoring the man you’ve really had your eye on. To spice up the dynamic, date around to show that you’re attractive and desirable to other people. When he sees that new love interests are pursuing you, your crush might get totally jealous. He may even start to chase you to feel like he still has a chance. Casually mention the new guy you’re dating and bring him to group outings. When your crush sees the two of you together, he may wish you were with him, instead. Don’t go overboard with the PDA. If you dote on the dude who’s just the “placeholder,” you might give the guy you really like the wrong message. Dating other guys also gives you the opportunity to meet new guys. One of these guys might be better than the guy you're trying to win. And here's the best part: these guys are already single (and into you!).
Wait for him to break up with his girlfriend. Give the guy space to figure out his feelings, clear his head, and make important decisions. Breaking up with his girlfriend is a huge decision, so allow him to navigate it in a way that’s best for him. Be patient and you’ll truly earn his trust. Once he’s called things off, he’s likely to run into your arms because you’ve always been there for him. Avoid bringing up the idea of dating until he's broken things off with his girlfriend. If he keeps telling you he'll do it soon but never does, he probably isn't actually ready to move on.
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